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That word seemed to make him pause, change his mood. Throwing back the covers, he swung his legs out of the bed, lifting her to her feet and taking her with him.
‘Time to get dressed, wife,’ he declared. ‘Time to head back to the palace—we have your coronation to arrange. I’ve waited too long for this. It’s time you really were my Queen.’
He was heading for the doorway, throwing back the tent flap to greet the flood of bright clear daylight that swept into the tent, so he didn’t see the way that Aziza’s eyes, clouded and unsure, followed him, until at last she lifted her hands and rubbed them across her face, pushing away the tears of regret she was not prepared to let herself shed.
This is the best news ever... For the country—for you...
Of course the country would come first. She was surprised that he had even put her into that equation. Now, now, he would have her crowned as his Queen. As she had suspected, now that she had done her duty and would provide him with an heir. Until now, this hadn’t mattered, but now...
Now he was forcing her to face the question that had been plaguing her for too long. Could she really bear to be his Queen, the mother of his child, and nothing more?
If only he knew that being Queen meant nothing to her. That the only thing she truly wanted was to have his love and to be Queen of his heart.
And that was the one thing it seemed she could never be.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CORONATION DAY.
You could almost smell the excitement in the air, Aziza reflected, and she pushed back the covers and padded across the floor to the window. There was a buzz of electricity in the atmosphere that blew up from the streets and houses of the capital while, in the palace, already preparations must be in hand.
Rhastaan had a new queen and there was a brand new heir to the throne on the way.
No, she had that the wrong way round. Aziza closed her eyes against the wave of misery that swept through her. A brand new heir to the throne was on the way and so Rhastaan would have a new queen.
The news of her pregnancy might not yet have been announced officially, but she knew the truth. Nabil was only prepared to crown her as his Queen because she was carrying his child, so she was to get her reward in the shape of a royal crown.
No one, least of all her husband, knew just how little that reward meant to her, and how much more she would value something much simpler. The love of the man who had stolen her heart when she was only a child and had never let it go ever since.
But everything had changed. Even her sleeping arrangements had been different. Last night, the night before the coronation, Nabil had slept elsewhere, leaving her alone in their suite.
‘Sleep well,’ he had told her, dropping a kiss on her forehead. ‘I want you to look your best for the ceremony tomorrow.’
No doubt he also wanted her to look good on the stamps, she reflected cynically, moving across the room to pick up the glorious golden gown she was to wear today. Gorgeously embroidered, resplendent with rubies and diamonds at the neckline, it should ensure that.
Slipping it on over her body, still naked from her bed, she studied her reflection in the mirror. Yes, she supposed that she looked regal enough. Soon her attendants would arrive; her hair, which was now falling wild and loose about her shoulders, would be dressed and pinned into an elaborate style. Her make-up would be done, and her hands manicured, ready to receive the ring of state that would mark her out as the Sheikha of Rhastaan.
Was she really going to go through with this? Was she really going to tie herself to a man who would never love her? A man who saw her only as a bed mate and a womb with which to breed future kings. The eyes that looked back at her as she asked herself the question looked dead, blank, as she stared out at a future that promised only emptiness.
It was far worse than when her father had set out to make her feel only the spare daughter. She wasn’t even Nabil’s other Queen, as she had once believed. Sharmila had shattered the young Nabil’s ability to love, building on the distance and neglect of his parents to leave him a man whose heart was dead. He had spoken the absolute truth when he had told her that he had no love to give.
So was she prepared to accept that?
‘No.’
She had to speak the word aloud to give it the emphasis it needed.
She was worth more than this, needed better than this. She had no doubt that her decision would cause every sort of uproar and scandal. Her reputation would be ruined, and her father would probably disown her. But one good thing to come out of this was that she no longer needed or sought her father’s approval. The only thing that mattered to her was the love of the man she adored, so it was better to lose her name and her status than to lose her soul by enduring this sort of death by empty marriage. It could only turn her into someone as heart-dead as the man she had married.
