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“Can I hold him?” she asks Remi.
“You can try, but he’s squirmy and may try to get down,” Remi replies.
Maisy grabs Elijah under his arms and slides him over her crossed legs. The boy is big for his age, so he covers her full lap. The happiness in Maisy’s eyes is almost blinding, but there’s not a person in the room who can look away as she takes the plastic toy he’s shoving in her face.
A mental image pops in my head of her playing with a little brother or sister. It’s an image that I damn sure plan to make a reality.
“I’m going to like having a little cousin,” she tells Elijah. He gives her a toothy grin, not once trying to climb from her lap. He’s just as mesmerized by Maisy as she is by him.
“She really is special,” I hear Mae murmur.
“That she is,” I say just as low.
I grab Ellie’s hand. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For coming to me.” I tip my chin to Maisy. “For giving me this.”
Her eyes soften and she squeezes my hand. She may not have come to Malus because she wanted Maisy to be part of my life, and she may have kept Maisy from me for years, but it doesn’t matter anymore.
She’s here with our daughter now, and I’ll cherish every moment I have with them.
Chapter Seventeen
ELLIE
I SIT ON THE SIDE OF THE BED with the small picture album in my lap. It’s one I haven’t seen in years. One I thought I would never see again.
My chest tightens as I run my finger over the gold-colored trim on the edges of the cover. I thought he would have thrown it away. Why did he keep it? He says he loved me back then, but what could have been so important that he would give up that love? Was I not as important? And why won’t he tell me now?
A couple of days ago when I gave in and agreed to give us another shot, the fear that came with that decision had my stomach twisting into knots. That was, until he kissed me. As soon as his lips touched mine, the anxious flutters turned into something else: basic need and desire. It felt so good, so right, to be in his arms again, like there was no time separating us. It was just as hot and dynamic as it always was.
Looking back down at the picture album, I mentally prepare myself to be assaulted by the past.
The first picture is of the both of us. I’m holding the camera out in front of us. He’s behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. I’m smiling and looking at the camera, while he has his lips pressed against my temple, his eyes closed and his lips tipped up into a barely there smile.
With my heart aching, I flip to the next page. This one is just Judge. I was trying to get a candid shot of him. He’s bent over with his head in the fridge wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt. It was a perfect view of his ass, but that’s not what I was wanting to capture. I was waiting for him to stand and turn around, but he somehow knew I was there. Using his free hand, he put it behind his back and flipped me the bird. I couldn’t help it, I snapped the shot, and it became one of my favorites. It showed his playful side.
The next one is just me. I’m making a silly face by sticking out my tongue and crossing my eyes. I hated the picture because I looked stupid, but Judge made me keep it.
I flip through several more pages and come across the picture that I loved the most. It’s of both of us lying on the bed we shared. Our heads are together and we’re both looking at the camera, our mouths stretched in wide smiles.
I trace a finger over his face, an ache forming in my sternum. I missed him so much over the years. I put this album together for us to look over our past when we were old. To give to our children when they were older. We were supposed to add many more to it.
“That one was always my favorite too.”
I look up and find Judge several feet away, his eyes on the album on my lap.
I drop my eyes back down. “I can’t believe you kept it all these years,” I murmur.
He takes the album from my lap and sets it on the bed beside me. He then drops to his knees in front of me. I lift my eyes to him.
“I kept everything that was yours in my apartment. There were several times I tried to get rid of it, but I just couldn’t. Everything is down in the basement in boxes.” He tips his chin to the album. “Except for that.”
“I only had the one picture of you that sits on Maisy’s bedside table. I always regretted that I didn’t have more to give her. My wishes were selfish too, because I wanted them for myself as well.” I grab his tie and rub my finger over the silky material. “Sometimes I’d go to her room, sit on her bed, and just look at your picture.” My lips twist. “Pretty pathetic, huh?”
He chuckles and lifts one of my hands to his lips. The light scruff above his top lip rubs against my skin, sending tingles over my body. “Not pathetic. I fuckin’ love that you did that.”
