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I give him a knowing look. He catches my meaning and nods. “Understandable. I wouldn’t want to start a relationship either if my future was so unstable.”
I stay quiet.
“So, what’s the real reason she hasn’t been in?”
I just stare at him, not answering his question. It’s not his business. Nothing to do with Poppy is.
When I keep my mouth shut, he finally gets it. He slaps the arms of the chair before getting to his feet. “Right. Well, good talk then.”
He takes a step closer to the desk and extends his hand for me to take. “I’m happy for you, Ash. It’ll be nice to finally see you settle down with a woman.”
I reach out and clasp his hand in mine. I may have gripped his a little tighter than necessary, but what can I say? What man wouldn’t want to assert his power over another man that has an interest in his woman?
It’s barely noticeable, but Eric winces, sending satisfaction racing through me. Call me barbaric, and I’ll say fuck you.
I release his hand and he flexes it a couple times before stepping back and heading to the door.
“I’m done for the day. If you need me for anything, call my cell.”
He salutes me with a finger to his forehead. “You got it. See you tomorrow.”
Once he leaves, I slide my phone back to me and pull up Poppy’s number. The fight to message her wins over.
Me: I love you, Beautiful.
I hit send and pocket my phone. I don’t expect a reply, but I still need her to know I’m thinking about her.
I grab my jacket and make sure my laptop is shut off before leaving my office. I hope tomorrow will be a more productive day than today was.
I sit in my car in an old video store parking lot. I’m a couple blocks away from where Poppy is. I grip the steering wheel with white knuckles. I’m so close to her, yet so far away. I’m trying to talk myself out of going to see her, but I’m not doing a very good job. If I could just have a small glimpse of her, I know I could get control of this incessant need to be in her presence.
When I left work, I was a good little boy and went straight home. I didn’t make any detours to Olivia’s house li
ke I desperately wanted to. I went home, took a shower, went down to the gym in my apartment building and worked out until my body felt like it was going to break. I went back and took another shower, then tried to watch a movie. Then I got hungry. I had no food in my house, so that meant I needed to go out and get something. Yes, I could have ordered in, but I was going crazy in my apartment and needed to get out. Now, my takeout is sitting in the seat beside me getting cold, and I’m two seconds away from breaking my promise to both Poppy and Olivia by going to see her. Maybe I can just take a peek in her window, see her beautiful face, then silently leave. No one would be the wiser.
She’ll never want anything to do with you again if you do. You’ll lose her trust forever, my stupid mind whispers.
I bang my head on the steering wheel, causing the already dull ache to intensify. I have got to get control of myself. I’m a grown fucking man; I should be able to control my emotions. I’ve always been in control of every aspect of my life, until Poppy came along. She’s stripped me of all reasoning and has turned my life into one hurricane of a mess after another. It’s a destruction on my senses that I’ll gladly live with for the rest of my life, but until I get to the part where I have her where I want her, I fear I may combust.
The phone sitting up in the dock of my dash rings.
Mom calling
My knuckles hurt as I force them from around the steering wheel and grab my phone.
“Hey, Mom,” I sigh into the device.
“Ash, honey, how are you?” she asks, her southern drawl slipping out.
I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes, exhaustion settling in. “I’m good. Everything all right at home?”
“It is. I was just calling to remind you of the get-together next week. You’re still coming, right?” Her voice sounds hopeful. I hate to disappoint her, but if Poppy still hasn’t accepted my apology, then I highly doubt I’ll be in any mood to be around anyone.
“I’ll have to let you know. I have some things going on at the moment that may prevent me from coming.”
“Oh no,” she says sadly. “I hope everything is okay with Poppy…”
She trails off, hoping I’ll enlighten her on the situation. I love my mom, and I’d do anything for her, but I’m not telling her my current problems with Poppy. She’ll only try to interfere. That, or I’ll never hear the end to her rants about keeping my feelings from Poppy quiet in the first place.
