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I must have been standing at her doorstep for hours now.
Just do it, Daniel.
It’s a door, not the entrance to a witch’s lair.
I finally manage to bring my knuckles in a position for knocking, when the door opens before I can do it. “Daniel,” Jamie says. “What…are you doing?”
“Uh…I was just…I was trying to knock…”
“I buzzed you in like half an hour ago.”
“Right, yeah. I guess I was getting up the nerve to do it.”
“For thirty five minutes?”
“Sorry.”
Jamie steps aside. “So,” she says, holding the door open. “Would you like to come in?”
“Yes,” I say but it takes me another five minutes to actually get past the threshold.
“Your apartment smells like…” I say, smelling the pineapple in the air.
“Pinacoladas!” Jamie says, and I see her with two full glasses of the beverage and coming towards me. Both the glasses have powdered colored sugar on the rim and tiny yellow umbrellas. She hands one to me. “Non-alcoholic of course.”
I gingerly take it from her and she leads me to the couch in the living room. We sit in front of the TV which is switched to some cooking show. I take one sip of my virgin piña colada and get a surprise. “This isn’t bad at all!” I say and realize that might not be the vote of confidence she was looking for but Jamie just smiles.
“Hey,” she says. “I’m no Gordon Ramsey. Everyone knows that. But I can whip up something when I have a recipe. Well, the simple stuff anyway not the fancy stuff they show on TV.”
“So, you’re watching cooking shows now?”
“Is there something wrong with watching cooking shows?”
“Not if you actually cook.”
“You think people watch these shows so they can learn how to cook?” Jamie says. “You’re so wrong, Daniel. People who watch these shows can’t afford to buy or eat that kind of expensive food and either binge eat burgers from the crappy diner downstairs or bury their faces into store-bought pies.”
“How many store-bought pies have there been?”
“Three more than I’m willing to admit.”
“When’s all this going to stop?”
“Probably never,” she says and I notice that her drink is almost finished. “I was gaining so much weight, I thought what the hell. It’s not like I can take this decision back now. What’s done is done. Might as well eat and pretend everything’s okay. It’s been working, you know! I’m really happy with the results!”
“Jamie.”
“I was getting fat and ugly anyway!” she yells. “I just decided to enjoy the process, Daniel what’s wrong with that?”
“You think I give a shit about your weight gain? Which by the way, you’re not fat or ugly. But come on Jamie! You’re pregnant. You knew it was going to change you and your life both, didn’t you?”
She starts to cry. “I wasn’t expecting this,” she says. “Everything thinks I’m a monster. My own parents won’t even talk to me. Kate is the only person who hasn’t left me or kicked me out, and who still talks to me despite everything.”
“Well that’s because any reasonable would stop to think who you are and they will never even consider the possibility that you’re capable of something like this.”
“You’re saying Holden isn’t being reasonable?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
