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“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” I snap. “Just because I like to fuck you doesn’t mean I’m going to let you just walk out of here and do whatever the fuck you want. You leave this room when I say you leave this room. You leave this relationship, when I say you leave this relationship. You leave this bloody agency when I say you can leave this agency! Am I making myself perfectly clear, Sebastian? Or do you want me to add a few threats to make sure you really understand what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
I walk right up to him and find him standing there, speechless.
Standing behind him, I let my body touch his, and I run a hand over his arm and squeeze the material of the shirt, pulling him closer to me. “Sebastian,” I say in a whisper. “I know you think I’m a monster. But if you just forget this ever happened, we can go back to where we were. Just forget you walked in on us talking, forget you heard what you did. We’re happy together. And I want to stay happy. I want you to be happy. And that’s not possible unless you give yourself up completely to me. You have to understand my reasons for doing what I did.”
He says nothing but I can feel him cringe.
It makes me mad and instead of letting go I just pull him towards me, turning him so he can face me. “Why do you have so much hate for me?”
“You hurt my friends.”
“Sebastian,” I say. “And I’ll hurt them even more if you resist me.”
“Are you blackmailing me?”
“I told you,” I say. “I’ll do anything in my power to get you. Anything.”
“You can’t have me with power.”
“Of course I can.”
“Let go of me, Liam.”
“Fine,” I say. “I’ll let you go. You can run to your friends. But you have to face the consequences. Are you ready to do that?”
“What consequences?”
“That little secret of yours that I know about? It’s not going to remain a secret anymore.”
He looks at me and for the second time in one day, he looks betrayed. “You’re going to hold that over my head?”
“Let’s face it, Sebastian. That’s your secret and this, what you heard, is mine. Haven’t you heard about Quid Pro Quo?”
“My secret is nothing like this!”
“That’s what you think,” I say. “But are you sure the world is going to look at it the same way? Especially your ‘friends?’”
He says nothing. “You promised me.”
“Yeah well, fuck that! You promised to always be with me and understand me! But you broke it too! I don’t see understanding in your words, Sebastian. I don’t see the love.”
“You can’t force people to love you.”
“Oh please,” I say. “Love? Who even knows what it is. All I know is that I want you. And I’m willing to pay the price.”
There are tears in his eyes but he doesn’t wait for me to wipe them and rubs the back of his sleeve against his face. “Is this really what you want?”
It’s not.
How can it be?
But I have no choice.
It’s either this or being without him and I can’t let that happen, I just can’t. I’ve spent lifetimes, wanting him, needing him, and I can’t let all of that go to waste. Now that I’ve felt what it’s like to be with him, I can’t even think of life without this—without him.
So what if he thinks I’m a monster?
So what if I know that I am?
