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I step away from the grill and swing him into my arms. “Hey, buddy! Are you ready to get your grub on?”
He does a little fist pump in the air. “Yes! Give me all ‘da food!”
God, I love this kid.
“A man after my own heart. Let’s go see what your mom has spread out in the kitchen.” I turn to Riley. “Will you bring the chicken in for me?”
He gives me a look that says we’re not done with this conversation. “Sure.”
Devyn, Riley, Nathan, and I all gather in the kitchen to load up our plates before going back to the deck to eat outside. About ten minutes later, Brody and Rainey return, plates in hand, looking freshly fucked.
Riley can’t resist the urge to give Brody shit. “Where’ve ya been, man?”
Brody eyes Nate pointedly. “Uh, I needed something from my Suburban. Took a while to find it.”
“What kind of something needed both yours and Rainey’s attention?” Riley’s lip twitches.
Brody fake coughs, disguising the fuck off thrown in Riley’s direction. Riley just laughs in return. Brody made a vow to be more conscious about his four-letter-words when he found out Rainey was expecting. Or more so when Rainey said she had every intention of implementing a swear jar in their household. Brody said he needs to practice before the kid comes otherwise, he’ll be filling that thing to the brim just like I did when Dev and Nate lived with me. Brody’s even worse than I am, so he’ll likely be broke before his kid’s first birthday.
“Ugh, I’m so hungry,” Rainey complains.
Brody kisses her on the cheek. “We have been working up quite the appetite lately.”
She playfully smacks his arm. “Cool it on the s-e-x talk. There’s a child in the vicinity.”
“What’s s-e-x?” Nathan asks.
Rainey gets an oh shit look on her face. “That sounds like a great question for your mom and dad, sweetie.”
Devyn rolls her eyes. “Thanks a lot, Lorraine.” She turns to Nathan. “Honey, we’ll talk about it when you’re a little older.”
“Aw, Mom,” Nate whines.
I mess up his hair. “Don’t worry, dude. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time to think about it and talk about it later.”
Devyn sticks her tongue out at me. “Not helping, Drew.”
I shrug. “What? It’s true. The little guy’s already off to a good start playing with his schlong all the time.”
“What’s a schlong?” Nathan asks.
Oops.
“DREW!” Devyn shouts.
“What is it, Mommy?”
She sighs. “He’s talking about your penis, honey.”
Nathan giggles. “My penis is funny. It’s all squishy and stuff. But then sometimes it sticks up.”
Everyone laughs at that one. My nephew is never light on entertainment, that’s for sure. Especially since he became obsessed with the good ol’ pork n’ beans. What can I say? Guys are fascinated by their junk. And if I’m being honest, we never really outgrow that. We just learn to censor ourselves better as we get older.
Devyn hangs her face in her hands. “I’m fighting a losing battle, aren’t I?”
Riley pulls her into a side hug and kisses her temple. “Pretty much.”
Devyn looks toward Rainey. “You’d better be having a girl. There is way too much testosterone in this bunch.”
