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CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
CHARLEE
“So...I did a thing,” I say.
Drew hits pause on the movie we’re watching. “What kind of thing?”
I shift on the couch so I can face him and tuck my feet beneath me. “I had a doctor’s appointment the day after we came back from Vegas.”
A crinkle forms between his brows, probably because he’s wondering why this is relevant over four weeks after the fact. “Okay...”
“I know it was a little preemptive at the time, but...I asked her to put me on the pill again.”
Drew smiles. “Oh yeah? And you’re telling me this because...”
“Because I’ve been on the pill for
just over a month now, which means it’s effective. And I have a clean bill of health. So if you’re clean too, then I think we should ditch the condoms.” I pause for a moment when my eyes become misty. “If this thing between us has to...end...then I want this. I want to be with you without any barriers between us before I can’t be with you at all.”
He scoops behind my legs and pulls me onto his lap. “Honey, don’t think like that. I’m not giving you up.”
I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. “How can I not think like that? It’s been over two weeks and Brody’s still on radio silence.”
He sighs. “We will figure this out.”
I shake my head. “You’ve been saying that but we’re no closer to finding a solution than we were on the day he freaked out. So just give me this, Drew. Tell me you’re clean and we can be together without condoms.”
“I’m clean as a whistle, honey, but are you sure you want me to go bareback?”
“Yeah...if you want to.”
Drew nuzzles his nose into my neck. “Of course I fucking want to, Charlee.”
“I’ve never had sex without a condom before,” I admit.
He pulls back in surprise. “Really?”
“Really,” I shrug. “Have you?”
“It’s been a long ass time. Like, my freshman year of college. I was dating this girl for a while. She was on the pill so being my dumbass nineteen-year-old self, I jumped at the chance to go bare. Little did I know, she decided to stop taking birth control because she could sense we were drifting apart and thought getting pregnant would fix that.”
My mouth gapes. “What happened?”
His face sours at the memory. “She got her wish. Admitted everything to me after the fact.”
“Who the fuck does something like that? What did you do?”
He shrugs. “I was nineteen. I didn’t really know what the hell I was doing with myself, let alone was I ready to be a father. But I was determined to do the right thing and stick by her, even though I was fucking furious. But she, uh...lost the baby about a week after she told me. We split up pretty soon after.”
I give him a sad smile. “Oh Drew, I’m sorry.”
He places a soft kiss on my lips. “Thank you, honey. But it all worked out for the best. After that...I never dated anyone long enough to warrant ditching the rubbers. Honestly, the whole situation with Blaire—that was her name—pretty much killed my desire to ever be in a relationship again before I met you. I just wanted to have fun without any drama.”
I frown. “It’s funny how someone else has the power to ruin your entire outlook on things, huh?”
His eyes turn curious. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
“I am,” I say with a shrug.
