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In some ways it was my fault. I knew the type of man Sebastian was. Since his wife’s death, he’d never been romantically attached to anyone. I heard the rumors. He treated sex like an itch, something to be scratched, and then move on. He didn’t want emotional attachments.
But then I remembered his expression when he saw me with Niall. Both times he’d gotten angry and ended up touching me. Didn’t that suggest jealousy, which meant he felt something for me?
Don’t go there, Leah. I warned myself. It wasn’t a good idea to start trying to read something into his behavior. The truth was, he’d been clear from the start that we couldn’t be together. At least not until he stopped seeing me as the intern or Henry’s daughter.
I’d gotten what I’d wanted, that should be enough. Except it wasn’t. I still wanted him and not just sexually, although I couldn’t deny that I wanted more of that. I liked Sebastian. In the four years he’d been my father’s friend, I’d gotten to know him, and I appreciated what a good friend he was to my father. He was smart and kind, treating his interns and employees well. He was funny and naughty.
Before we’d embarked on a sexual relationship, I’d loved how he’d treated me like I was smart and capable in business. I didn’t feel like a twenty-three-year-old student, but instead, he made me feel like I had good ideas and instincts, and that I made a contribution to his company. I didn’t expect him to hire me when I finally finished my degree in six weeks, but I was confident he would give me a good reference.
When I left Sebastian’s office, all these thoughts whirled in my mind. Instead of going to the party, I headed home. I did as Sebastian suggested and took a hot bath. He was right, I felt sore, but it had been worth it. Sebastian might be emotionally closed off, but he definitely knew how to touch a woman.
As I lay in the tub, I wondered if he’d always been so distant or if that was the result of losing his wife. He never talked about her, and the few times I brought her up, it was clear he didn’t want to share. A couple of times I’d asked my father about Sebastian and his wife, and he was close-lipped about it. I wasn’t sure if that was because he didn’t know or if he was holding Sebastian’s confidence.
I lay back in the tub, closing my eyes, remembering the way Sebastian touched me. He was rough that first time, but then he was gentle and careful. He fulfilled his promise to make my first time good for me. It must have been good for him too, if his words and groans were any indication. I hated the regret in his eyes when we finished, and yet the fact that he wanted more and that he didn’t want to see me with anyone else suggested I was more than just a fuck to him. Right?
If my father’s friendship wasn’t an issue, would Sebastian be more open to me? Maybe not. There was still the factor that his board might not like him fucking his intern. But I suspected for Sebastian, the bigger issue was my father. It warmed my heart that my father’s friendship meant so much to him, even though it frustrated me as a barrier between us.
Would my father have a problem with me seeing Sebastian? I suspected he’d have a problem with my having sex with him, like he would with anyone. But I wondered if he’d have a problem with a relationship. My father cared for and respected Sebastian. If he’s good enough for my father’s friendship, why wouldn’t he be good enough for me?
When my fingers started to prune, I got out of the tub, dried off, and put my pajamas on. As I got ready for bed, my phone beeped and I’d hoped it was Sebastian. Instead it was my friend Joanne wanting to know if I wanted to go out with her and the other girls from my master’s program study group tomorrow. I texted back that I would. I needed time with my friends and away from my internship and Sebastian to sort out my feelings and what I should do next. Deep down, I thought I should just take the memories and leave him alone. But when I thought about doing that, my chest hurt. Some time with my friends would give me some distance to sort out my next steps.
The next day my father was out golfing with Sebastian, so I stayed home and worked on my thesis. I got a text from Niall about going out and told him I was busy. But his text remined me of the pictures he sent me. I scrolled through them and I had to admit, Niall was right. I looked like an innocent yet sexy fairy. I considered texting the one with the big dildo to Sebastian, but then decided not to. He might like the picture, but it would also remind him of who took it.
