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“The anniversary party. I know it had to be hard with Valerie not being there.”
Thank fuck. I nodded. “She hasn’t been able to see what her idea has bloomed into.”
“Maybe she does.” He tilted his head upward.
God, I hoped not. Just what I needed. The vision of my dead wife looking down on me as I fucked my intern in the office I used to fuck her in.
“I like to think my Olivia knows that me and Leah are doing well.”
Well fuck, there was another image I didn’t need; Leah’s mother watching down on us as I did unspeakable things to her daughter.
We walked a little further before he said, “Have you thought about getting out there again? Seeing other women?”
“No.” That was true. For the most part. On rare occasions I did “get out there” but that was simply for a sexual release. I knew Henry meant dating and potentially finding a new wife. The closest thing I’d had to a relationship since Valerie’s death was Leah, since she’d been the only woman I’d fucked more than once, and I wasn’t going to tell Henry that.
“You’re still young. Maybe you should think about it.”
“From the man who doesn’t date,” I said.
He shrugged, but there was something in his expression that suggested maybe his situation had changed.
“Are you seeing someone?” I asked.
He gave a non-committal head shake. “Seeing is a stretch.”
I quirked a brow. “But someone has caught your eye.”
“Yes.” He stopped in the middle of fairway by his ball. “I’m excited and yet feel guilty, you know?”
I nodded.
“And terrified.”
“Terrified?” I asked.
“I haven’t been on a date in twenty-five years.” He laughed. “I don’t know how to ask or what to do.”
“I’m not sure that’s changed much.” I patted him on the shoulder. I was happy for him. If anyone deserved a second chance at love, it was Henry. “How’s Leah with it?”
“Oh well, she’s been pushing me to date for years. She doesn’t think it’s normal for a man not to have someone to love or to love them back. She’s a bit of a romantic that way.”
My stomach knotted. I hoped she wasn’t looking at me that way. I couldn’t give her love and it would be a waste for her to love me. “So, who is this woman?”
He grinned like a man smitten. “She owns the coffee place outside my building. She’s a bit younger than me, so perhaps I’m being an old fool.”
“Younger woman, eh? How much younger?”
He blushed. “She’s younger than you. In her thirties.”
I thought about the nearly twenty-year age gap between me and Leah. When I was with her, it didn’t feel like we were a generation apart. It was only intellectually that it felt so cliché.
“Is she interested in you?”
“She seems to be. She always comes to sit with me when I’m in for my morning and afternoon coffee.”
I laugh. “Twice a day.”
“I’m an old fool, aren’t I?”
“No, Henry. You’re not old. Fifty-one is the new thirty, right? And clearly, she doesn’t mind. Sometimes women like a man with experience.” I swallowed hard as I realize that’s what Leah wanted too. She was tired of being a virgin and wanted a man who knew his way around a woman’s body to take it from her.
“I’m thinking of having her for dinner. Let Leah meet her. Do you think she’ll be bothered by the age difference?”
I shook my head. “I doubt it. I think Leah just wants you to be happy.”
Henry nodded. “She’s my pride and joy. She’s such a smart, capable, good woman. Like her mother.”
I nodded and couldn’t help the feelings of unworthiness. I didn’t deserve either of them.
“Well, let me take this shot.”
“Mine is in the woods.” I pointed to the trees lining the fairway.
“Let’s hope your next nine holes are better than the last, eh?” Henry laughed.
“yeah yeah.” But the next nine weren’t any better. I couldn’t concentrate as thoughts of Leah and fears that I’d lose my good friend kept distracting me.
And now, I had a massive woody as I watched Leah in her hot red dress and sexy red lips that I wanted wrapped around my dick. She gave her father a kiss and then put her hand on my shoulder. For a moment, I worried she was going to out me. That she’d tell her father what I’d done to her.
“I’m sorry about golf. Perhaps you can win back your losses in cribbage,” she’d said.
Relief washed through me until I realized she could see my erection. I tried to hide it under the table, but there was no way she didn’t see her effect on me.
For the next few hours, I drank beer and played cribbage with Henry. I lost at that too. How could I concentrate knowing Leah was clubbing in sinfully sexy red dress? There was no doubt she’d attract male attention. She would be hit on all night. Would she take them up on their offer of a drink? Would she go home with one? Would Niall be there? Fuck, I was a mess.
