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“I’m still young enough to give them to her. We’re not there yet, but I’ve given up trying let my mind dictate my heart. I’m giving it free rein.”
My heart clenched in my chest. I couldn’t imagine being that vulnerable. “You’re the bravest man I know, Henry.”
“It’s scary as shit, I’ll admit, but Karen is a good woman. And I want this. I didn’t realize it before, but I like being a part of something. That’s the key, I think. Find someone you can trust, someone that wants to be a partner in life, that shares your goals.”
Valerie and I had that, except our shared goals were centered on business and sex. I knew Henry was talking about something deeper.
“You’re lucky to have another chance.”
“I think we can all have another chance if we’re brave enough to take it. Leah is young and has time, but she’s so focused on getting her career. She doesn’t spend hardly any time in her personal life. I worry, that she’ll end up not having somebody who loves her.”
I swallowed hard. “Leah is a fantastic woman. When she’s ready, I doubt she’ll have any trouble finding someone to love her.” The thought of a man, loving her body made my blood boil. The idea that she’d give her love to someone, wholeheartedly, as I knew she would, made me insanely jealous. Jesus, I wanted that man to be me. The problem was, I wasn’t as brave as Henry. In my defense, I had more to lose than Henry did. I could lose control of my company. I’d lose Henry as a friend. What I feared most was losing myself.
“Earth to Sebastian.”
I shook my head to rid them of my whirling thoughts. “Sorry.”
“You’re more on the game today than last time, but you still seem out of sorts. Anything up?”
I shook my head. “Just a lot going on at work.”
“You never answered my question about whether you were still a committed bachelor.”
“I like my life, Henry.”
“You never feel lonely at night?”
Yes, I did. When Leah wasn’t there. “No.”
“Toys can only do so much.”
“Right now, they do enough.” I found my ball and set up for my shot. I hit the ball and hoped that the way it curved didn’t mean it ended up in the woods.
“You deserve to be happy, Sebastian. I hate to speak ill of your marriage, but from what you’ve said about it, I’m not sure she really loved you in the way my wife or even Karen loves me.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’m sure I didn’t love her that way as well.” I walked up the fairway ahead of Henry, not wanting to talk anymore about love and relationships.
“Well if that’s the case, I feel sorry for you.”
“I don’t want your need your pity, Henry.”
“No. Clearly you don’t. But there’s nothing better than the total and complete connection… soul to soul… between a man and woman. I wish that for you.”
The way my heart rolled in my chest suggested it wished for that too.
“Promise me that if you ever meet a woman that does more than give you a hard on, you’ll be open to an emotional relationship. You’ll be a better man in life and business for it.”
I had an urge to tell him that his daughter stimulated my dick and my emotions just to make him back off on this topic. I was surprised when I said, “I promise.”
The following week, Leah and I continued as usual. But her father’s comments were never far from my mind. They forced me to study how Leah treated me. The way she looked at me. Was she a person that could be all that Henry talked about in a love partner? I was terrified to find out because there was so much at risk. If I lost my company, what would I have in my life? Love didn’t pay the bills. And while Leah often looked at me with emotion, she was young and inexperienced in life. For all I knew, she was idolizing me. Or in a few years, when I was older and grayer, suffering from erectile dysfunction, she’d find someone else.
I sat at my desk, looking at the itinerary I had for a trip to Paris. It was a last-minute business meeting to see about having Sensual Delights sold in France. Who knew more about sexual pleasure than the French? Well, maybe people in India, since they wrote the Kama Sutra, which Leah and I had been working our way through.
“I’m heading home, Mr. Cox.” My secretary poked her head in my office.
“See you tomorrow.”
Five minutes later, on time, Leah walked into my office, shut the door and locked it. “Mr. Cox.” She had a flirty smile that had my dick up to full staff.
“Ms. Hammond.”
“You wanted to see me?”
