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My teeth ground together. I’d known this could be a problem, but now that I was facing it, I resented the board. “What have they heard?”
“Just that you’re having a sexual relationship with an intern. I tried to tell them that you weren’t that reckless. I’ve seen how you work with Leah and know you’re a professional.”
My gut roiled as the feelings of guilt at betraying my friend threatened to make me sick.
“However, as a board member, I’m concerned that you haven’t yet denied this accusation.”
“I shouldn’t even be accused, Henry.”
“You have a reputation, Sebastian.”
“Not one that involves fucking my interns.” I hoped I sounded indignant.
Henry scowled, probably at my language. “No, but gossip, even if it’s not the truth, can hurt the company’s reputation.”
“This is my company.”
“The board doesn’t care about you Sebastian except as the face of the brand. You hurt the brand, you hurt the company. The board cares about that.”
I knew he was right, and I mentally kicked myself for talking myself into having an affair with Leah. Why hadn’t I sent her out of my office the day she took her clothes off to seduce me? Because you had to have her. I’d always liked having a healthy libido, but in that moment, I’d hated that it led me astray.
“I just need to know that it’s not true or that it’s not a problem or something that will appease the board.”
“It’s not true.” That wasn’t a total lie. From that moment on, I wouldn’t be touching Leah again. As much as I wanted her, I couldn’t risk the only solid thing in my life.
Henry nodded. “I’ll pass that along.” He stood. “I hated to do this, Sebastian. You know that, right?”
“I know.” I shook his hand.
“Golf this weekend?”
I nodded absently. “Sure.”
When Henry left, the simmering anger finally exploded and in a rage, I shoved everything off my desk, sending it crashing to the floor. My desk light broke. Papers were littered everywhere. The floor was a mess, just like my life. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I’d brought this on myself and now I had to man-up and fix it. That meant ending things with Leah. I rubbed the spear of pain over my heart. I hoped she took it well. Henry and the board wasn’t wrong in that office romances with the boss could end up in a legal battle. As her superior, I’d be seen as having taken advantage of my power position to seduce her if she cried foul. I didn’t believe Leah would do such a thing. She’d probably be hurt, and maybe even challenge me since we’re both consenting adults, but I doubted she’d accuse me of harassment or try to sue me.
Still, the idea of hurting didn’t sit well with me either. She’d agreed to the affair and never pushed me for more, even though I could see in her eyes she wanted more. And for a moment, I’d considered giving her more. But Henry’s visit was a reminder that I couldn’t give her more and not risk what I’d spent the last ten years of my life building. Money and sex, Sebastian. Those are the two things that make life sweet. Valerie’s words echoed in my mind. I repeated the mantra, hoping I’d be able to burn it in my brain and never let my heart lead me down the dangerous path again.
* * *
Wednesday morning, I arrived to the office early after a night of practicing what I’d say to Leah to end things without hurting her too badly. I focused on the fact that she was a few weeks away from graduating and would be pursuing a career. While Niall and Craig both were suggesting I hire Leah in the marketing department, I knew that couldn’t happen. It would be easier to avoid wrong behavior if the temptation wasn’t in front of me day after day. I could endure two weeks of having her in the building to finish her internship, I told myself. But I didn’t trust myself to hold out if we hired her. Leah was smart and hardworking. I had no doubt she’d find a great job elsewhere.
When Leah entered my office that morning, my first impression was that she was still sick. She was pale and looked tired. My second was that perhaps her father had told her about his visit, because she expression was apprehensive as well. But then she moved toward me with her arms up to give me a hug.
I took her hands in mine and pushed them down. I released her and stepped back.
“We have to talk, Leah.”
Her face immediately registered that what I had to say wasn’t good. “You’re ending things?”
I nodded. “The board has gotten wind that I’m having an affair with an intern.”
Her eyes widen in surprise and panic.
