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“He didn’t wait for you. He had a wife. I don’t think he loved her.”
“I don’t think that marriage was based on love, dad.”
“That makes it worse. How can you be sure he loves you?” I worked hard to sympathize with my father’s feelings of betray and concern for me. I wished he’d give me the same courtesy.
“Because he told me he did. Because he shows me he does.”
“Sex isn’t love, Leah.”
“No, but flying out to Los Angeles to tell me he loves me because he couldn’t abide by your rule and break up with me is love. Holding me when I’m crying because my father is hurting me is love. Telling me I had to follow you home to try to work things out because he knows how much you mean to me, is love.”
My father stared at me with glassy eyes. “I’m afraid he’ll hurt you. He’s not worthy.”
“For a man who used to sing Sebastian’s praises, you now have a low opinion of him.”
Hoping I was getting through to him, I took his hands in mine. “We love each other. We’re having a baby. It’s important to both of us that you’re a part of our lives.”
“I’m not sure I can let this go.”
“You have to try, dad.”
“I need time. Thank God he’s not coming to your graduation party tomorrow.”
That was the first I heard of that. Since I’d made some progress, I didn’t push it. Instead, I worked to sober my dad up, and then put him to bed.
He woke a few hours later, and we hung out, although we didn’t talk about Sebastian. I told him about my job interview and finishing my finals.
I texted Sebastian that I was spending the evening with my father, which he replied that he was happy to hear, and he’d see me at my graduation tomorrow. I considered asking him if he’d planned to come to my party, but my father was asking if I wanted to take a walk so he could clear the final remnants of his drinking from his brain.
The next morning, I sat with my classmates as we each received our graduate diplomas. Despite the fatigue and conflict between my father and Sebastian, I was feeling hopeful. I was officially not a student anymore, which I hoped would help my father see I was grown up and not Sebastian’s intern lover. I still hadn’t heard about the job in California, but I had several prospects in New York. The thing I was looking forward to the most was being with Sebastian and our baby. We weren’t engaged, and I supposed it was possible that things wouldn’t work out. But right now, our plans were to be together and have the baby. That’s all I really needed.
“Leah Marie Hammond.”
I walked up the steps of the stage, taking the diploma in one hand, and shaking the dean’s hand with my other.
“Congratulations,” he said.
“Thank you.” I turned, held the diploma up toward the clapping audience. Somewhere out there, my father and Sebastian sat, not together, but the two most important men in my life were there.
I started to walk toward the other side of the stage to make my exit when the world started to spin. I stopped and took a breath, hoping to regain my bearings. But when I took my next step, the world tilted and then went black.
I came to in Sebastian’s arms, with a commotion of people around me.
“Leah, baby… wake up.”
“I’ve called 9-1-1,” someone said.
“Leah!” My father’s voice broke through the noise. “Get away.”
“I will not,” Sebastian held me tighter.
I reached out my hand to my dad. “I’m okay.”
“You passed out.” He turned on Sebastian. “You said you’d take care of her.”
Sebastian’s eyes turned dark. “She was with you last night.”
“Don’t you blame me.”
“Hey!” In my mind I was yelling, but I could hear the weakness in my voice. “Stop it. Please, just stop.” Tired, weary and light headed, there was nothing more I could do but cry.
“Don’t cry, baby.” Sebastian kissed my forehead.
“I’m a doctor,” a woman’s voice approached us.
Sebastian released me as she knelt next to me.
She held my wrist to take my pulse. “Do you have any health conditions?”
“She’s having a baby,” Sebastian blurted.
“Ah,” the doctor nodded. “Fainting isn’t uncommon in pregnancy, but you should go to the hospital.” She looked up. “Looks like the paramedics are here.”
The paramedics worked in a flurry and within minutes I was in the back of an ambulance on my way to the hospital. This time my father won the battle to be with me.
“You scared me to death, Leah. I can’t lose you honey.”
I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn’t be sure I was okay. The lady doctor seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal that I’d fainted, and yet, she still sent me to the hospital.
