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A flush of adrenaline t
ingled through his body. He tucked a finger under her chin, staring into her emotion-packed eyes. “You missed me?”
“Last night, I . . .” She blinked, a single tear falling down her cheek. “I wanted you here.”
“I wanted to be here.” He caught the tear from falling farther, brushing the moisture across her cheek.
She blinked again, then stepped out of his arms, glancing back out the window. “But that’s confusing because I’m not supposed to miss you. I told myself that I needed a day apart from you and that I’d be fine. In the end, all I did was spend the day missing you.”
Like hell he’d let that statement pass. He took her hand again, tugging her toward the couch. He sat on the armrest, bringing her between his legs, coming eye-to-eye with her. “Are you expecting that to annoy me or something? I certainly like the fact that you’re missing me.”
She paused, her eyes searching his. “A bit of honesty?”
“Please.”
Her gaze cast down, her deep inhale obvious before she addressed him again. “You have to understand, Shep, that I’m not someone who makes the same mistake twice. I live with my heart, yes, but I’m also ruled by my thoughts. I gave Jake too much of myself, that’s on me. I can’t let my heart run away with me again. I mean, this is all so crazy. We barely even know each other. I shouldn’t be missing you like this, needing you so much, and I can’t help but think that I’m needing you so much because I’m lonely.”
His lips parted to refute that. She pressed her finger to his mouth, hushing him, then continued, “But then when I sit and think about you, I know it’s not that at all. You’re this amazing guy who makes me feel all these amazing things.” She paused then, focused on him, and she admitted something he suspected was hard for her. “I want to trust you.”
The power of those five words brushed across him. Not only because he knew saying them put her in a vulnerable spot, but because it was honest, real, and raw, and he wanted her to trust him too. “Jake has left a mark on you,” he said gently, stroking his knuckles over her cheek. “It’s there, and I see the mark.” Now he gave her his truth. “It’s okay to be a little lonely. You’ve lost your Grams and your life in New York City in one big sweep. You should be sad about losing both of those things. Because Jake broke your trust, you are looking to explain why you’re feeling the things you feel for me. Is this all happening fast? Yes. But it’s happening, and it’s real, and I’m also feeling everything you are.” He paused for a moment, letting that sink in before he cupped her face, knowing it was now or never. She needed a push. He couldn’t wait any longer. “I would never do what Jake did to you. Not ever. If you were mine, I would cherish you, parade you around, not hide you. And if I hurt you, that would be my greatest failure.”
She glanced down. He refused her that right, tucking his fingers under her chin, returning her gaze to his. “Do I seem like the type of man who would say one thing to your face then lie behind your back?”
“No.”
“Do I seem like the type of man who would protect you or hurt you?”
Again, she didn’t hesitate. “Protect me.”
He leaned in closer, inhaling her flowery perfume. “What is most important to me, Emma?”
“Family. Being good and strong.”
“What is most important to Jake?”
“Himself.”
Shep kept one hand on her face, the other sliding across the small of her back, bringing her in, nice and close. He got right to the point of where her insecurities lay. Yes, he was cleaning up another man’s mess. She was worth it. “I am not Jake, Emma. Tell me.”
“You are not Jake.” More tears leaked from her eyes. Her lips parted, then shut.
He shook his head. “No, Emma, this won’t work unless you talk to me.”
“I want to hate him,” she practically growled.
“But you can’t?” He could hate him for her.
She inhaled sharply then rushed to say, “Logically, of course, I’m so angry at him. But mostly, I’m so sad and confused. Because it’s not even like I miss him, as much as it is I . . .”
“Miss your life?” Shep offered.
She nodded, a tear streaming down her cheek. “I had everything I ever wanted one day. The next, it was all gone. My dreams vanished into nothing. The friends I thought I had were nothing more than ghosts. I’m beginning to think that since the day I left New York City, I’ve been running from how much that all hurt me.” She hesitated, her voice blistering. “But the thing that gets me most is I don’t know how Jake could do that to me. We were together a year. I thought I meant more to him. I thought I was special to him.”
Shep gritted his teeth. If Jake where there right now, Shep would make him hurt. “You didn’t deserve any of this,” he stated. “But you need to stop running, darlin’.” He cleared the tears from her face, like he’d clear every single tear after it. “To stop running, you need to see that one day he’ll regret losing you. Maybe not now. But believe me, one day, he’s going to think of you and regret that you’re not there with him.”
She wiped her tears away, shaking her head. “You know, for me, it’s not losing him that makes me so sad. What gets me is that I thought what we had was real. I just don’t know how I couldn’t see the lies. It’s making me second-guess everything . . . and myself.”
Shep held her face tight in his hands, wishing he could take this burden from her. “What you had was real, Emma. For you, it was real and honest, and that’s what is so damn special about the way you care for someone. Whatever Jake did has to do with Jake. His issues. His problem. Don’t let him taint the love you gave him.”
