AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A long pause followed as her friends just stared at her, offering comfort in their soft expressions. Then Sadie said, “Sooo...what did he do to you exactly?"
"'What didn't he do?’ is more like it.” She glanced between her friends. “Honest to God, I thought more than once I was going to die from pleasure."
Kyra laughed. “That sounds like a good thing, even if you'd never catch me being tied up and hit with anything. The man would have a black eye and a broken nose if he dared to boss me around."
"Oh yes, you'd just rather have two dicks,” Marley countered. “You're up next. Let's just wait to see what you end up doing."
Kyra blushed right to her hairline and focused on Bella, diverting the conversation. “What went wrong, then?"
"I don't know.” God, how pathetic do I sound? “He was being really sweet and stuff, cuddling me afterward; then when I looked at him, everything changed, and he was cold."
Marley patted her leg and gave a reassuring smile. “Kole is a tough Dom. Even, I, who've been in the lifestyle now for a little while, couldn't—and would never in my life be inclined to—be with him. He pushes in ways others wouldn't.” She gave her a hard look. “I told you this about him when I first noticed this thing between you two."
"Yes, I remember, but I needed to fulfill a fantasy, and well...he was there, and I wanted..."
"His junk,” Kyra finished for her.
Bella snorted. “To put it simply."
"But I'm still not getting what bothered him,” Marley said. “Are you sure you're not misreading him? Did you not talk afterward? I mean, that's why you discuss things during aftercare, so you can figure it all out."
Bella gulped at the rise of emotions, which were ready to burst. “Yeah, we talked and everything. But it wasn't what he said that was the problem. It was the look he gave me. Like I failed him or something."
Yeah, that was what bothered her. A look she'd seen so many times from other men. Like she wasn't enough. Hadn't been strong enough to hold her own.
With Kole, she let him in more than she had anyone else, which included giving him total control, and he spat on it, or the disappointment in his gaze did.
Marley took her hand and squeezed. “It was your first scene, Bella. Cut yourself a break. Tonight, I'm sure you went through lots of emotional crap. I know I did the first time. It can be overwhelming, so let yourself just soak it all in.” Her gaze firmed. “And let me tell you, if Kole is disappointed in you, he's a total dick, and you should stay away from him."
All this, though, wasn't about her night. It was about the ache in her heart and the hard truth that she craved Kole's approval. And she'd never needed anyone's approval of her.
For the first time in so long, she opened herself, gave Kole all of herself, and... He let me down just like men always do.
Not only the ones at work, but the list of men she dated and the relationships that had gone nowhere but down the toilet.
Marley smiled softly. “I'm really sorry that you came away from your scene so upset, but I'm sure Reed will get to the bottom of this."
No way. Reed was so not cleaning up her mess. She forced her emotions away, feeling foolish for crying over this. Good God, where was her strength?
She stood, pushed away the ache, and left the warmth of her friends and the comfort they always offered. “What's to find out? I couldn't keep up or give him what he needed. He wants a woman who can. Nuff said."
Marley's brow puckered. “Bella, but—"
"No,” she interrupted. “I'm done talking about it. I'm feeling better now. I'm just tired, and I guess it overwhelmed me.” She looked at each of her friends. “Sorry I got so emotional. Tomorrow I'll be a hundred percent. Tonight I'm just..."
"Sore?” Kyra offered.
She forced a grin, which made her friends giggle. “Exactly."
Kole raised his beer to his mouth and chugged it back, as he sat at the kitchen table. He thought he'd gotten to Bella. It appeared that he'd made ground with he
r, and she opened up to him.
The woman he'd seen during their scene was the one he knew lived within her, past all those defenses she put up. Then, she clammed up and returned to the same old standoffish Bella.
He racked his mind trying to figure out what had changed. Was it something he said that put her on edge?
The change in her demeanor was obvious, and it disappointed him. He wanted the Bella he'd seen tonight. Who gave him control because she trusted him and even more so, was happy with him. That woman he adored.
