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I dropped down into my circle and with shaky hands, grabbed the mirror out of my bag. I tilted it into every corner of the room, making sure to get all the directions as Gretchen instructed. I drew in a long deep breath, shut my eyes to avoid looking at the demon searching for a way into my protection.
Once my heartbeat settled, I opened my eyes catching sight of it on my right side. And I forced every bit of emotion that lived within me into my voice. “Demon belonging to Baal, return to your house. By the protection of the Guardians to my north, east, south and west, I banish thee.”
Nothing happened.
Sweat formed a cold film on my body. The demon continued to try and break into the protection around me. The black blur whipped around me so fast I could hardly see it, and the stench of sulfur sped through the air.
My confidence shook. Gretchen had been right. I didn’t have the willpower I needed. Without that push from within this wouldn’t work. As much as I’d been going along with this,
I didn’t truly believe myself capable.
The fear I tried to keep hidden stole over my thoughts. My heart thumped, my limbs trembled, and I grasped the mirror tight in my hands, panicking.
Everything I’d done had been steps I’d taken to get my life back to normal. The magic worked because I had no other choice than to believe in it to help me. But here, in front of this demon, I didn’t have enough confidence and because of that, the demon didn’t have to listen to me.
I closed my eyes, fear making it impossible to breathe, as the hissing sound filled the space around me seemingly touching my soul. The demon continued attacking the barrier trying to break through, and sweat dripped along my spine.
“You’re weak.” The scratchy, low voice sounded within the hum in the air.
And I didn’t doubt the demon was right. I was weak, always had been. Kipp had brought strength to my life. Before him, everything was a mess and I was lost. But he handed me stability with his love and now that was gone.
Tears leaked from the corners of my closed eyes and I squeezed them tight. Panic took on a whole new meaning. The only thing I heard now was my cries. For help. For freedom from this moment. For everything that happened since that blasted car crash that led me to now.
But within all that pain, Kipp’s face, his smile, stood out in my mind. The reminder of how much I gained from him. And that made me aware how much I didn’t want to lose it.
This wasn’t over between Kipp and I, not nearly. He hadn’t crossed over. My life wasn’t yet concluded. And I had choices. I didn’t have to be a victim of my abilities any longer, or not guide my own fate.
I drew on that purpose. On that fight to maintain what made me whole. I might be unsure in my steps, lost in the present without Kipp, and not have it all figured out, but Kipp gave me the strength to realize that was okay.
I didn’t have to be perfect and didn’t have to know all the answers, I only needed to try. Give myself the right to realize that just because I’d been dealt a shitty hand, only I controlled how it all unfolded.
With warmth replacing the iciness in my veins, I opened my eyes and relished the strength that he gave to me. The one that said I never asked for any of this and that meant I deserved to do this on my terms. I’d fought hard every step of the way for what was right, not out of duty, but because I believed in it.
That couldn’t end here. Not now. Not because of some demon. And certainly not because my abilities brought me to this moment. I controlled my future. I said when and where. I said who I let in and who I didn’t. I had put Dane in his place and I could do the same with this demon.
I fixated on the shadow spiraling through the air straight ahead of me, pulled on that heat burning in my gut, and held onto my belief of what was good.
Kipp, our love, ghosts, and the desire to see them find peace. I’d wrestled with my ability and purpose until things settled, and this demon couldn’t destroy it. He couldn’t steal the happy depths of me with empty promises because he controlled nothing. I held all the power.
I raised my voice and pushed all of my strength into it. “Demon belonging to Baal, return to your house. By the protection of the Guardians to my north, east, south and west, I banish thee.”
A loud roar erupted, a squeal of absolute terror as the deep scent of sulfur nearly suffocated me. The shadow sped around the room and transformed into a rope of fire. I held the mirror out in front of me and within a blink of an eye, the line of fire soared straight toward me then entered the mirror.
Without pause, I pulled the black silk out of the bag, flipped the mirror over, and then covered it in haste.
My breath hitched to break free on a cry, but was halted when sudden gasps filled the space around me. I jerked my head up, waited two-point-two seconds, then screamed.
Loud shouts followed mine.
I sucked in a harsh breath to stop my screaming, not to scare the ghosts in front of me and composed myself. “Err…” I scanned the room spotting more than ten ghosts. Their energy washed across my skin making me shiver. “I wasn’t expecting…err…this. For you all…um…to appear.”
They all stared at me wide-eyed, yet one woman standing near the back of the crowd caught my attention. I blinked a couple times for good measure to ensure I wasn’t imagining this, but she remained.
“It’s you,” I whispered, calling her forward with a jerk of my hand. “You. Come here.” She stepped free from the crowd, stopped in front of me, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Is your name Lizbeth?”
She exchanged a look with the others who all wore masks of shock before she turned to me. “Yes, that’s my name.” Her pretty blue eyes were just as I remembered from the picture I’d seen of her when I was first introduced to the case, and her dark long hair flowed over her white nighty. “How do you know my name?”
My mind spun in the same confusion they all appeared to hold. “Because I’m part of the police department and we were working your case.” Was this seriously happening? “That is, until it became unsolvable.” I shook my head to gather sense. “This is why you died?”
