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“Mallory,” I say gently, my fingers twitching to reach out to her. “Please let me explain.”
She finally draws in a big deep breath, raises her head, and smiles at me. It’s forced, I can tell. And that guts me. For all the things I’ve done wrong in my life, this amounts to the most shameful. I loathe to hurt women, and yet I’ve done what I swore I’d never do. I hurt the sweetest woman of all.
I hate myself for the way she shuts down the emotion on her expression, turning that smile onto Aria and Liam, too. “While this is not surprising considering the way you two behave,” she says, handing Liam his phone, “this also changes nothing.”
From his spot near the entryway table, Liam stares at her, incredulous. “How in the hell does this change nothing? Did you not read what the fucker wrote?”
Aria sighs. “Is that really necessary, Liam?”
“Yes,” he growls at her.
Mallory ignores them all, almost like she’s on auto-play, trying to get through this. “Yes, I did read what Jackson said. And yes, it still changes nothing. Like I told you earlier, anything that happened between us, I instigated.” She glances from Liam to me, then places her hands on her hips and adds, “I refuse to be dragged into this ongoing feud between you two. You are grown men. Act like it.” She’s exuding strength but I see past it, only able to stare at the pain I caused in her eyes, when she says to Liam, “Because guess what? I’m really happy that you and Aria are finally together.” When she turns to face me, she adds, “I’m also really happy that I got to spend these past few days with you. I had a totally unexpected most fabulous time.” She glances between us again. “There is nothing to discuss more than that. Everyone is happy, see? We can all go on our merry ways and move on with our lives. It’s done. Over.”
I’m not happy.
In fact, I’m the exact fucking opposite of happy.
Now I know what my idiotic move has cost me. It’s made her look at me differently. I see it in the cold way she stares through me. It’s not with the sweetness she had before at the cabin. Or the warmth when I buried myself deep inside her. It’s all gone, and we’re back to that place where I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me.
I did that.
I can’t take it back.
“So,” she adds after a long-suffering sigh, “how about we decide here and now to stop this shit, all right? It’s really old, and to be honest, I’m more than done with the whole thing. Especially when you two bring me into your game. And I can only guess that Aria wants no part of it.”
“I don’t,” she states loudly.
“See.” Mallory gives a measured look, lifting her hands in obvious frustration. “You both have your sides of the story about what happened with Sophia. But come on, it was like, what? Ten years ago that this happened. It’s time to move on.”
Liam growls, “This isn’t about Sophia anymore.”
“Then what is it about?” Mallory asks, hands back on her hips, eyebrows raised.
Liam narrows his eyes on me, burning me where I stand. “He doesn’t deserve any of the kindness that either of you bestow on him.”
“That’s what you think,” she counters softly. “You’re entitled to feel that way but it’s my right to also disagree with you. And I do. When we were at that cabin, he was nothing but kind to me.”
Liam snorts. “Again, the email.”
“Was to dig at you,” Mallory interjects, pointing at him. “That’s it. All of this has nothing to do with me at all. Do I think the email he sent was stupid? Yes.” She directs the latter at me. “Is it hurtful? A little.” She turns back to Liam again, and her words crush me. “But it’s also expected from Jackson.”
Suddenly, it’s like I’m falling with no place to land. She thinks the very worst of me. Maybe she always had. Apparently, if I’m reading this right, it seems I surprised her on our trip away. Maybe she’d hoped I’d act different when we came home, be the guy she’d met in Muskoka. And that’s when I find out the real damage that email caused.
She can no longer trust me.
When she turns to me again, she stares at me hard. “Here is your shot to make all this right. Is there anything else you want to say to Liam?”
She obviously wants me to tell him the truth. Maybe she thinks that if Liam understands we can somehow find peace. He’s the fucking last person I want to make peace with. He was blind back then to what was in front of him. He’s still blind. “I have nothing to say,” I grumble.
“That’s a shame,” she says, her shoulders sagging. “I guess this will never end.” She moves to the door, holding it open. She’s not looking at Liam. She’s looking at me.
I am the outsider.
I’m striding forward but my steps feel weightless. I can’t think. I can’t figure out how to make this better or what I need to do to erase the pain I caused her.
Once I’m out in the hallway, Mallory shuts the door a little, standing in the crack, keeping our conversation private. This is not how I wanted to say goodbye. In fact, my chest tightens at the thought of not seeing her again. “Let me explain, Mallory.”
“You don’t have to,” she says. “I had an amazing time with you. Honestly, when you picked me up on Tuesday, I never would have guessed how much fun we would have.”
