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She realized, spotting his clever smirk, he sure as hell did.
Without looking to her, he said, “I did what you wanted last night. Now we can move past all this where we are both pretending it’s what you need.”
Her mind spun around her. In one night he had taken the fight she loved, the play for power, and completely removed it as a possibility for the future. How could she ever play that power struggle again, when he knew, and so did she, that the game was over?
He picked up the spatula. “Have a seat, kitten. I’ve made you a fine breakfast.”
She nearly glared, but she knew it was worthless. They’d both known she’d listen, because she didn’t want to fight against Porter anymore, but that nagging voice in her head reminded her to be smart about this. Friendship and submission were one thing, and that she could give him. Love was something else entirely. She might trust Porter and care deeply for him—he’d p
roven himself time and time again—but she couldn’t trust his intentions.
Happiness was something she’d trusted once. Happiness had failed her.
She moved to the table and took her seat when he brought over her plate. He placed it down and then dropped a kiss on her forehead. “That’s my girl.”
—
Porter ate his breakfast with tension riding on his shoulders. Last night didn’t have the effect he had hoped for. What he wished was that Kenzie would take some control back in her life, and that it would make her feel more stable. She’d woken to be more of a mess than she’d been when she went to bed.
She sipped her coffee, staying silent, and he wanted to hear the thoughts rummaging through her mind. So lost. So distrustful. Porter stayed in his mind, thinking about all he knew of Kenzie. And it did concern him how fast she was falling apart.
The Kenzie he saw now didn’t resemble the one he knew. She wasn’t strong, holding her head high. She was quiet, drawn into herself, not saying a word. This wasn’t about Adrik, he knew that now. While he had suspected something emotional was going on with her, he could see it now, plain as day. “Have you considered speaking to a therapist?” he asked gently.
Her eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
He pushed on, knowing this topic would be uncomfortable, but sometimes uncomfortable conversations were a must. “If you don’t feel safe enough to discuss whatever is going on with you with Cora or another Club Sin submissive, perhaps speaking with someone you don’t know will help.”
Her features hardened, moving into the stony place she went to sometimes. “I have nothing to say.” She dropped her mug to the table with a clang and then gathered the empty plates, moving to the kitchen sink.
He noted the trembling of her hand, and he wasn’t sure if he could help her, but he wanted to damn well try. She started washing the dishes, and he couldn’t stand the distance between them, so he went to her. He closed his body against hers, running his hands down her arms, and she went still.
“Kenzie,” he whispered.
She remained silent, so he spun her to face him, and he spotted tears in her eyes. Tears that it became apparent she was trying to fight. “Don’t keep whatever this is that is so painful inside you. It’s destroying you.”
Her lips parted. “I…”
“?‘I need help, Porter,’?” he offered, sliding his hands up and down her arms, feeling her slight tremors. “?‘I don’t know how to talk about this, but I don’t want to live like this any longer.’?”
One tear trailed down her cheek.
He searched her desolate eyes, wishing she’d welcome him into her soul. That is where he could help her. His mind worked quickly to understand her, and a sudden clarity overtook him. He’d given her intimacy, he was helping her with Adrik, but there was one part of Kenzie’s old life that he wasn’t giving her.
Pain.
Seeing her so unstable tore at his heart. Doms liked their submissives well, and Kenzie was far beyond that now. He needed her to get better today, even if it didn’t last for long. The coming days would be tough, he believed that. He wouldn’t leave her in the state she was in now. She might’ve thought she knew how to make herself feel better last night, but it was apparent enough she didn’t have a clue. It just so happened he knew exactly how to pull her emotions back in a little tighter.
He dropped his hand and grabbed the kitchen chair. As he took a seat in the center of the kitchen, he ordered, “Take off your nightgown.”
She hesitated, staring at him blankly.
He narrowed his eyes. “Now.”
Keeping her focus solely on him, she removed her pajamas, revealing puckered nipples. He patted his thighs. “Over my lap.”
Heat blasted through her pretty eyes as she moved toward him and placed herself over his thighs. He shifted her into proper position and then squeezed her round bottom. “Such a pretty little ass,” he murmured. Then he stayed quiet, knowing words didn’t need to be said now.
Kenzie needed a release, a desperate one, and he’d give her that now. Today he’d show her that depending on him could give her exactly what she needed and more. His next plan would only solidify that knowledge.
