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Hell, maybe I’d take a long, hot shower then curl up naked in Colin’s bed and wait for him—give him a nice surprise when he got home from the bar or wherever he was.
Our sex life had been tepid at best lately, so maybe the silver lining of this shitty night was the unexpected chance to spice things up a bit between us.
The foyer of the apartment was dim, and I made my way up the two flights of stairs to his floor already wrapped in visions of the comforting shower that awaited me.
The inside of his apartment was dark. I dropped my backpack near the door, stretching with relief as I seemed to grow three inches taller. I was about to flip on the light switch when a weird creaking sound caught my attention. I froze.
Wait a second. I know that sound…
A low groan followed, accompanied by a high-pitched moan.
Oh, shit. I definitely know those sounds.
My eyes widened with realization. I ran through the living room, stubbing my toe painfully on something in the dark, and barreled straight into the bedroom.
Yep. Colin was hard at work pounding into a petite redheaded woman whose moans and whimpers made her sound like she was auditioning for a porno.
“What the actual fuck?” I boomed from the doorway.
Colin jerked away from the redhead like her skin had suddenly turned scorching hot. She shrieked in a very un-pornstar like way, recoiling into the sheets and covering her chest, looking like a deer caught in headlights.
“You better have a damn good explanation for this, you fucker!” I snarled as I grabbed the nearest weapon I could get my hands on, which turned out to be a slipper shaped like a banana. Colin had insisted they were hilarious when he’d bought them. And now, I was going to kill him with them.
Pro tip: any household object can be weaponized as long as you put enough force behind your blow. Remember that—it just might save your life one day.
“Piper! Piper! Chill! I thought you were working tonight.”
“That’s your fucking excuse? You thought I was working?” I threw the slipper at him, and he scrambled across the mattress to avoid the fruit-shaped projectile. I scooped up the other and dove onto the bed too, whaling on his back as he curled into a ball against the corner.
Pathetic.
“Look, baby, you’ve got this all wrong—”
I whacked him in the head with his banana slipper. “Don’t you dare call me baby when there’s a naked woman in your bed, you fucking asshole!”
“I was going to tell you—”
“Tell me?” I repeated. “Don’t kid yourself, Colin. You weren’t going to tell me shit.”
“I was!”
“Too late for that now, isn’t it? Good thing my fucking car broke down. It saved you the trouble of coming up with the words. You’re such an asshole—fucking some twat behind my back while I’m busting my ass trying to get through college and pay my damn bills.” I threw down the slipper and ran my fingers through my long hair. “God, dating you was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Unable to deal with Colin for another second, I turned toward the girl. “And you—”
“Please don’t hit me!” she whimpered as she scooted to the far side of the bed, still clutching the sheets to her naked body.
“Jesus. I’m not going to hit you,” I said, leveling my voice so it was more or less calm. “But I do need you to tell me what this asshole told you when he brought you here.”
“H-he…” she stuttered in her nervousness.
“Piper—”
“If you know what’s good for you, Colin, you’ll shut your damn pie-hole right now.” I shot him such a deadly glare I thought he might keel over right then and there. Hey, a girl can dream, right?
The redhead gulped when I turned my attention back in her direction.
“Tell me,” I demanded firmly.
