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We were both breathing hard, and I could hear the sound of the others breathing too. The air in the room had taken on a heavy quality, thick with unspoken tension.
Slowly, I unwrapped my legs from around Cole’s waist, and he set me on my feet. The crotch of my panties was soaked, and I had a sudden moment of panic that I might’ve left a wet spot on his bare stomach. I moved to reach for him, then stopped, suddenly unsure.
The dare was over. I’d kissed all four of them.
So was I still allowed to touch them?
What had this meant?
Anything?
Nothing?
“Well…” Finn’s voice still sounded ragged as he stood up, adjusting himself a little. “I don’t think anybody’s gonna top that dare. So… more drinks?”
“Fuck yes.” Mason stood too.
The mood in the room broke, and the guys started joking and teasing each other again as we gathered our shit to head upstairs.
Relief mingled with disappointment as I followed Elijah and Finn up the steps, still breathing raggedly and trying not to stare at their asses while they climbed. It was a lot harder to do now that I’d actually touched them.
Mason and Cole followed behind us, talking in low voices as Mason checked the time on his phone and slipped it into his pocket.
He caught me looking back at him, and I had a sudden memory of the first time I’d seen him at school, leaning over the railing of the landing in the stairwell and scowling down at me.
But this time, when our eyes met, he smiled.
Chapter 23
We drove back down the coast the next day, and thanks to Finn making me drink a ton of water, I actually felt pretty decent. That was the most I’d ever drunk in one span of time though, and I felt a twinge of discomfort as I remembered how good my dad had been at that kind of thing. He’d been able to keep a binge going for days, even weeks sometimes, and I didn’t want to follow in his footsteps in any way.
Be smart, Tal.
Maybe next time, I’d offer to be designated driver so I’d have a reason not to drink. Although that wasn’t a very workable excuse at weekend house parties.
I sat up front again, and Mason’s hand rested on my knee as he drove, a comfortable, confident gesture. Nothing else had happened the night before, which was probably for the best. If I’d hooked up with one of them, what would the others have thought? A lot had changed since the day Cole busted into the girls’ locker room and accused me of trying to seduce his friends, but I still hadn’t forgotten his words.
Besides, it wasn’t a good idea to hook up with any of them, truthfully.
What had started on extremely rocky ground was finally turning into what could be a really solid friendship, and despite the way my body reacted to all of them, despite the tingles that raced across my skin from just the feel of Mason’s hand on my knee, I didn’t want to risk that.
When we reached Oak Park, they all walked me to the Wastelands before heading back to their dorm. As far as I knew, they weren’t going anywhere else over the break, but I’d promised Jacqueline I’d go stay with her and Philip until Sunday.
I unpacked and repacked my bag with more conservative, fancier clothes and showered twice to make sure I didn’t smell like weed or alcohol. If I could get through one visit with my grandma without her looking at me like I was a major disappointment, I’d consider it a win.
Is that how she used to look at my mom? Was that what drove her away?
Using a round brush, I dried my hair into soft waves, taking a little extra time with my appearance. Then I headed back out. As I crossed campus, my mind drifted back to the past few days, and I felt a smile spread across my face that I couldn’t contain. I shot a glance over my shoulder toward Clarendon Hall, for once sad to be leaving the Oak Park campus.
Jacqueline and Philip greeted me from their usual stations when I arrived—my grandmother at the door and my grandfather from behind the desk in his office. He was missing his usual glass of whiskey, which I liked. I’d already been feeling weird about having drunk so much at the house party; it helped to see that not every blood relative of mine was a slave to alcohol.
Then again, my dad had managed a few dry spells too.
Jacqueline took me out to the back garden, and we chatted about the coming summer and how classes were going. I hadn’t missed a single class all semester, and she praised me for it with a wide smile.
I spent most of the next three days holed up in my room studying or walking the beach, dipping my feet in the cold water and picking up little shells or stones worn smooth by the waves. I’d started a little collection in a jar I’d asked one of the house staff for, and even though I was pretty sure Jacqueline wouldn’t approve, it was my favorite decoration in my room.
On my last evening at the house, I had dinner at the large dining room table with the two of them, mulling something over in my head. It took me until just before dessert was served to work up the nerve to say anything out loud, but the idea had been growing in my mind ever since the night of all the dares with the guys.
