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“Yeah. Well.” I shrugged, not feeling particularly brave or heroic at the moment. “I’ve had to be.”
Mason’s eyes narrowed as he watched the movement, and he leaned toward me, studying my face like it might give away some secret I’d been keeping all this time.
For an insane, wild moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. My body tensed, my hand curling into a fist even as the stupid animal part of my brain—the part that didn’t know what kind of emotional manipulation this boy was capable of—almost wished he would.
That part of my brain still couldn’t understand how this guy, who’d made me feel things only a few other people in the world ever had, who had once made me feel so safe and beautiful and wanted, was the same one who had held my world upside down and shook it until the pieces flew apart.
But Mason didn’t kiss me.
He stopped abruptly only a few inches away, freezing in place, his breath tickling my lips.
“Do you know how long I’ve hated the Hildebrands?” he murmured. Our faces were so close together that his words flowed into my mouth as if I’d been the one to speak them.
He meant it.
I could hear it in his voice.
Whatever had convinced him to carry around this hate, it was so deeply ingrained in him by now that it’d become an intrinsic part of his identity. I had a sudden image of a Mason who didn’t hate me dissolving, unraveling into nothingness, as if his hatred of my family—of me—was the only thing tethering him to this plane of existence.
“Why?” I whispered.
I’d never understood it. Not before the Princes pretended to take me into their fold, and not after they’d revealed their months-long lie. Why? I had never done anything to him. Nothing.
His expression shifted, and the two hands resting on either side of the couch cushions brushed against the sides of my legs as he pushed to his feet. His gaze never left mine, and I had to crane my neck as he towered over me.
“It doesn’t matter.” His voice was hard. “It’s over.”
Then he turned and headed for the door, closing it behind him without a look back.
Chapter 8
I hadn’t had a panic attack like that in years, and although I knew exactly what event had triggered it, that knowledge didn’t entirely stop the fear that I’d slip into another one at any moment. I couldn’t stand the thought of going back to that place, so I did everything I could to keep myself grounded and calm after Mason’s abrupt departure.
The first thing I did was go through the apartment opening windows. He didn’t wear anywhere near as much cologne as Oliver did, but somehow, Mason’s subtle cedar and spice scent had managed to invade every inch of my dorm.
Then I tried to eat a little something, pulling a box of cookies down from the cabinet and forcing myself to chew and swallow. They were Oreos, my favorite, but each bite tasted like cardboard and went down like a lump of sand.
I was tired but not ready for sleep, and the quiet of my little dorm was starting to make me antsy, so I kept the blanket draped around my shoulders and headed downstairs to the common room.
Maggie was slouched on the couch with the TV on, her feet propped up on the little coffee table. When she saw me, she scrambled to sit up, turning to me as I ambled over to the couch and sat down.
“Oh my God, Talia! Are you okay?”
I’d barely spoken to her since I’d gotten back to Oak Park, partly because she was usually with Leah, who was still ignoring me, and partly because I’d been too distracted by my war against the Princes. But I had missed having friends around this place, and the sight of her earnest, concerned expression made a lump rise in my throat. Her white-blonde hair was longer than it’d been last year, pulled back from her face in a ponytail.
“Yeah.” I brought my knees up under me again, rearranging the blanket so it draped over my whole body.
“Are you sure?” Her eyes were wide. “I didn’t see what happened, but I… I heard about it.”
Fuck.
“What did you hear?” I asked, not sure I really wanted to know the answer.
“I heard Adena pushed you down the steps in front of Craydon,” she whispered, turning t
o face me more fully. “And that you had some kind of… flashback. It sounded awful. Apparently, the Princes were super fucking pissed at Adena. Finn was in her face, yelling at her. And Mason carried you back to Prentice Hall. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch you.”
I steeled my heart against the emotions that wanted to rise up inside me. Mason had carried me back? So the fuck what. He’d probably just wanted to make sure none of the school admins saw me and realized what’d happened. And they might be mad at Adena for not carrying out their marching orders the way they’d intended, but that didn’t change the fact that they’d given all the students at Oak Park the go-ahead to bully me.
