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Adena and Preston had managed to amass a pretty significant following at Oak Park over the past several weeks, and the number one target of their vitriol was me.
It was strange to see, and I couldn’t help but wonder if part of it was their preoccupation with me or my war against them earlier in the semester, but the Princes’ control over the school seemed to have been slipping.
“They have?” I lifted my head to face her more fully.
“Yeah. I saw Cole cornering some sophomore a couple days ago. I don’t know what the kid was planning to do, but I’m pretty sure all he actually did was wet his damn pants.”
She seemed almost pleased at the notion, and my brows drew together as I asked, “So, you’re really not mad I’m talking to them again?”
She laughed. “It’s fucking weird, I won’t deny that. But I wasn’t even mad the first time. More hurt, I guess, because it felt like you chose them over me.”
“I didn’t mean to. And I won’t ever again.”
“Anyway, they do seem different. And hell, if someone has to be in charge of the school, I guess there are worse options than those four. Plus—” She broke off, flipping her sunglasses back up as she studied me, her face oddly serious. “You seem different. Maybe it’s because you’re more skeptical, like you said. But you don’t seem like you’re just letting them walk all over you, which is good. You seem… stronger.”
A flush of pride bloomed in my chest.
She was right.
I didn’t always feel like it—had moments of doubt and weakness. But no matter what had been thrown at me since I’d gotten back to Oak Park, I’d kept hold of my determination. And maybe that was the same thing as strength.
“You know what?” She scrunched up her face. “I actually think the Princes all have crushes on you. As they should. You’re a hot fucking piece of ass.”
I batted my eyelashes and stuck my tongue out at her, and she pretended to swoon as she rested back against the lounge chair. My stomach did a strange little flip-flop as we stared out at the ocean though. I hadn’t told Leah what’d happened between me and Elijah. Hadn’t told her that Finn had kissed me in the dance studio the day I broke his phone. I hadn’t told anyone.
Because I didn’t know what it meant. What to do with the strange, intense connection I felt to all of them. Sometimes it felt like we were magnets that someone kept flipping over and over—repelling and attracting each other, colliding and retreating, but always in each other’s orbit, always connected by the energy that hovered between us.
Would it always be that way?
What were we supposed to do with that?
Even if they earned my trust again, even if they proved themselves worthy of it, what then?
I had kissed them all in the ocean that night. The night I had felt wild and free, the night I’d done whatever I wanted because it was my birthday and fuck the consequences. But I couldn’t live like that all the time, could I? I couldn’t have all of them.
Somewhere along the line, in my head and in my heart, the Princes had become a package deal. They functioned best as a unit, and when I’d thought I was a part of that unit, it had felt… good. I had felt cared for and protected for the first time in my life.
It doesn’t matter, Talia.
You don’t have to worry about which one you’d choose, because you won’t get to choose any of them.
The little voice in the back of my mind brought me back down to reality, and I glanced over at Leah, wondering if she’d noticed me come crashing back to earth. But she was stretched out on her chair with her face tilted up to catch the sun and a contented smile stretching her face. The freckles across the bridge of her nose already looked darker from just the few hours we’d been out here.
The truth was, it didn’t matter whether the Princes had crushes on me or not. Whether they cared about me or not. The things I had written in the little notebook in my backpack would guarantee their hatred one day. Between the notes, the photographic documentation of hard proof, and the videos I’d managed to capture, I probably already had enough to bring all four of them down. Or at least to guarantee public humiliation, which in a town like this, meant more than it would’ve in Sand Valley.
Jacqueline had lost her shit after the Princes showed their video of me because reputations were like currency here—and that video had rendered her currency useless.
I couldn’t actually take the Princes’ wealth and privilege away. But if I damaged their reputations, it would have something like the same effect.
So why am I still sitting on it?
For a long time, I’d waited because I needed more. More dirt, more damaging information. But I had enough now.
Why wasn’t I doing anything with it?
The little black notebook, which had once felt like a shield or a weapon, my most valuable possession, was starting to feel like a lead weight in my backpack. A constant reminder of what I’d come here to do, of the path I’d set for myself.
They deserve it, Talia, the voice whispered in the back of my head, and I closed my eyes, letting the salty air caress my face.
