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I’m quiet on the way back from the wake.
There was a reception scheduled afterward so the gathered guests could give their condolences to Marcus’s parents and mingle among themselves. According to Theo, deals and negotiations are probably being done even at a time like this, everyone jockeying for position as the dust settles in the aftermath of the game.
I couldn’t stomach the thought of that, though, so we left pretty much as soon as the wake finished.
Ryland’s eyes are red, and he hasn’t spoken since we left the church. Theo doesn’t look much better, but I can feel his concern for the two of us as he glances into the rearview mirror.
“You okay?” he asks, catching my eye.
“No.” I swallow, shaking my head. My fingers dig into my thigh. “I want to fucking end this. You said the game only ends when you either kill all your opponents or win their allegiance? Then I want to help you do that.”
Ryland glances at me sharply. “No.”
“Yes.” I turn toward him on the seat, my nostrils flaring. “You said it was too late to keep me out of this. I’m a part of it already. So let me help you end it. There has to be something I can do. Some way I can help.”
“No.” His voice is just as forceful as mine, his hazel eyes hard. “It’s one thing to let you see into this world. It’s another fucking thing entirely to make you a player in this game, Ayla. Carson already tried to use you against us once, and look how that fucking turned out. Is that what you want? Huh?”
“No! I want to keep that from happening ever again. I’m not letting either of you get fucking hurt!”
“It’s not your choice,” Ryland shoots back. “It’s not your goddamn call.”
“Yes, it is. You don’t get to tell me what to do!”
We’re both nearly shouting, our voices drowning out the music that plays softly from the speakers. I catch Theo darting a glance at us in the rearview mirror, and I press my lips together, turning away from Ryland and staring out the window as I blink back angry tears.
Part of me knows this is just all the anger and sadness that built up in me during the wake pouring out, needing some outlet before it chokes me—but I can’t accept what Ryland is saying.
I don’t give a shit what he says. I’m finding a way to end this, with or without their help.
We pull into Theo’s garage several minutes later, and as he cuts off the engine, his phone buzzes. He pulls it out of his pocket and answers, speaking softly as Ryland and I unbuckle our seatbelts. Then he hangs up and turns around to face us.
“Dammit. I’ve gotta head back out. My uncle’s being a fucking cock, and I need to deal with him before he gets my mom to sign over her share of the company.” He lifts an eyebrow. “Can I leave you two alone without you killing each other?”
Ryland makes a noise in his throat that’s not exactly a confirmation or a denial, and I huff out a breath—but Theo must decide those answers are good enough. He leans between the two front seats, palming the back of my head before pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my lips. His eyes bounce between mine as he pulls back, studying me carefully. “Be good, okay?”
I nod, my skin tingling from the soft kiss. My entire body feels uncomfortably alive right now, like there’s too much inside of me. Too many emotions to be contained in one person.
I don’t say any of that though. I just slide out of the back seat before Ryland climbs out after me. Theo pulls out of the garage as Ryland unlocks the door to the house, and as soon as he steps inside, I brush past him, heading for the stairs to the second floor.
But before I can even make it across the kitchen, a hand closes tightly around my wrist.
I jerk to a stop, then whirl around to glare at Ryland, tugging against his hold on me. “What?”
“You think I don’t know what you’re fucking thinking?” He narrows his hazel eyes, his full lips pressing into a line. “I know how goddamn stubborn you are. I know you don’t give up. You probably think you can take on every single person in this competition, but you can’t.”
“I never said I wanted to do that.” I pull harder against his vise-like grip, wishing I had my other fucking hand so I could slap him. He’s twisting my words, twisting my intentions, making it sound like I have some kind of death wish. “I said I want to help! Why won’t you let me do that?”
“I’m trying to protect you,” he grits out, pulling me a little closer.
We’re less than two feet apart now, and I can see how bloodshot his eyes are, how sallow his face looks. It breaks my fucking heart. What would he look like if Theo died too? Would he even survive that kind of loss?
“I’m trying to protect you too, you asshole!” I yell, shoving at him with the stump of my ruined arm. He falls back a step, and instead of pulling away, I follow him, narrowing the space between us to less than a foot.
“You’ve already done enough.” Ryland’s body tenses, his shoulders squaring as if he’s facing off against an enemy in battle.
“What are you talking about?”
He yanks on my wrist, pulling me toward him so sharply that my chest crashes against his. I can feel the wild rhythm of his heart as he stares down at me like I’m fucking crazy.
