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Her face was so red it looked like she was sick.
“My mother isn’t dead! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!” she cried out. Cora ran after, pulling her into her arms, but Dona just fought harder…cried harder. Declan came out a second later trying to get her calm down, but she just pushed him away and ran.
Damn it.
The gun fell from my hand. I stood there watching my daughter sob on the screen for so long that my eyes started to burn. I didn’t have much energy to do anything other than hop into our bathroom, turn on the shower—not caring if it was cold or warm—and get a cover for my cast. I sat down, clothes still on, the water drenching me in seconds.
“Ahh…” With my hand over my mouth, I sobbed, rocking back and forth over and over again. I thought that wanting to die but not being able to must be the worst form of punishment any man could go through.
One hour I sat in there before coming out.
When I came out I saw the hairs that had grown around my chin, the dark shadows around my eyes…I saw it clearly, I just couldn’t be tasked with dealing with it. A shower and a change of clothes were enough, just jeans and a white pullover. Grabbing one of the crutches I had been given but hadn’t even thought of using, I took a deep breath and unlocked the door to Dona and Wyatt’s room.
“Dona, you shouldn’t have gone outside—”
But none of them were there.
“You’re not my mom, go away!” I heard their voices from Ethan’s room.
“Dona—”
“I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU! GO AWAY!” she screamed before something broke.
Rubbing my chest, I wanted to walk away from her. I couldn’t deal with her pain too. I just couldn’t, and yet I opened the door. Each one of their heads snapped to me, Declan, Cora, Mina, Ethan, Wyatt, my mother, and Dona.
Ethan sat by the window. Wyatt laid on his bed next to Dona, and everyone else stood by the door.
“I got it,” I said to the rest of my family. They didn’t say anything, just left us alone, the door clicking softly when it closed. None of them came to me. Instead, they just stared for a moment before Ethan turned away and looked back out the window. Dona buried her face in her pillow and Wyatt lay still, staring up at the ceiling.
Moving to the end of the bed, I sat down, not sure what to say to them, how to even go about speaking.
“Have you guys eaten?” I asked.
“Do you even care?” Ethan shot back, not looking at me. It was the first time in his life he had ever spoken so disrespectfully. “It’s fine, Dad, go back to bed. I’ll take care of Dona and Wyatt.”
“And who is going to take care of you?” My eyebrow rose. “After all, you are still a kid Ethan—”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Dad!” he yelled at me. When I looked in his eyes, all I saw was pain and rage. “We aren’t kids. All of us here are old enough! I’ve been with Wyatt and Dona all this time. I’m not a kid!”
Getting up, I moved to him, but he backed away. Tugging him toward me, I pulled him into a hug.
“Let go! Let go! Just go back to drinking! They said you were going to kill yourself! You’re going to leave too! So just go already go!” He hit and pushed me but I held on to him tighter, wrapping my arms around him and kissing the top of his head.
“I’m sorry I left you guys alone,” I whispered, “and thank you for taking care of things, little man.” A sob ripped through him and I held on tightly. “Thank you for being so much stronger than me—”
“Please, Dad, don’t go,” he cried and as he did, he wrapped his arms around my waist. “Not you too, please, please…”
Sitting beside him, I blinked a few times before forcing him to look at me. “I’m not going anywhere, not for a long while. Your uncles and aunts will mess up all the training we’ve done. Wyatt, Dona, come here.”
Dona rushed to me, crying out when I kissed her face as she hugged me. “Thank you, princess…I saw you on TV, it helped me.” It had saved and killed me at the same time.
“Wyatt?” I looked up but he didn’t come to me, just lay there.
“He doesn’t want to speak anymore,” Ethan whispered to me.
I didn’t want to force him because I understood that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak, it was that he couldn’t. He didn’t have anything to say.
“Come on, I’m still sore. Let’s lie down,” I said, shifting on the bed. I pulled Wyatt in close to me and kissed the side of his head. Dona and Ethan lay down on the opposite side…and for the first time, Ethan’s giant bed didn’t feel so big anymore. They had grown up; in the next few years, Ethan would be just as tall as me.
