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It has always been my dream to go to France some day, and when I decided to take French instead of Spanish, Rip did the same just because he wanted to make sure we had at least one class together. Alyssa also took it. My insides melted whenever Rip spoke French in class. A few times I caught myself daydreaming he was making love to me in France for the very first time as he whispered Je t’aime in my ear.
When I walked into French class today, Rip was sitting on the corner of Miranda Williams’s desk. The way they were smiling at each other instantly made me jealous. Quickly recovering, I walked to my desk and sat down. Miranda laughed at something Rip said, causing me to look again. This time she saw me watching them. She placed her hand on his leg. Rip slid off her desk, then leaned down and said something only she could hear.
I looked away, opening my book and quickly acting like I hadn’t noticed the exchange.
“Hey, Chloe Cat.”
Ignoring Rip, I kept writing notes.
“Chloe?”
With a quick glance, I smiled. “Hey, Rip.”
“How’s your day been?”
“Fine.”
He sat down next to me, his normal seat in class.
“Just fine? Did you get my note from Alyssa?”
“Yes. I don’t know why you couldn’t just ask me in class.”
My words were cold and bitter, and I regretted them the moment they were out. How was it that just a little bit ago, I was grinning from ear to ear as I read that note, but now I was feeling a mixture of anger, sadness, and love?
“I thought you liked getting notes from me.”
I looked at him and then at Miranda. “I’m sure I’m not the only girl who likes getting notes from you.”
I sighed, pissed at myself for being jealous, and for showing my jealousy.
“Chloe…”
“It doesn’t matter, Rip.”
He went to reach for my hand, and I pulled it away.
“Talk to me. What is wrong?”
When I looked over at Miranda again, she was watching us.
Bitch.
I gathered up my books and stood. “I feel like I’m coming down with something.”
As the teacher walked into the classroom, I headed out and said, “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to the nurse.”
Not even giving the teacher time to respond, I picked up my pace and headed to my locker.
Stupid. You’re so stupid. He’s not yours, Chloe. He was never yours.
I threw my books into my locker and grabbed my backpack and purse. Slamming the door shut, I made my way to the exit. I never skipped class. Ever.
I pushed the door open and headed to my car.
“Chloe!” Rip shouted from behind me.
I nearly wanted to cry for being so childish and stupid. Why couldn’t I simply tell him how I felt? I hated this game. Hated it. Uncle Trevor’s words were bouncing around in my head, reminding me that I would always feel this way if I didn’t tell him.
“Not now, Rip.”
“Stop!”
“I’m going home.”
“Will you fucking stop walking away from me and tell me what in the hell is wrong with you?”
Stopping, I spun around and glared at him.
Internally, I screamed at him.
I’m in love with you, you stupid, blind fool!
Rip jogged up to me and stopped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to curse like that. Please tell me what’s wrong.”
I shook my head and looked away. “I’m having a bad day, that’s all.”
He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear that had fallen from my ponytail. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”
Tears stung at the back of my eyes because I couldn’t tell him I was insanely jealous that he was talking to another girl. I couldn’t tell him that it was me who loved him, me he shared Saturdays fishing with, me who should be on his arm and not just because we were friends.
But I told him none of that.
“It’s stupid and childish. It doesn’t really matter anyway. Why don’t you go back to class? You can sit with Miranda.”
There. I did it. I showed what a jealous fool I am, and I regret nothing. Well, that’s partially not true.
He pinched his brows. “Anything that makes you upset matters, Chloe. And why would you tell me to go sit with Miranda?”
Pressing my lips tightly together to keep from crying, I turned away from him.
He placed his finger on my chin and turned me until I was looking directly at him.
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know why I said it. I guess because I saw you with her when I walked into class. If you’re dating her, that’s fine. Honest…like I said, I’m having a bad day and want to be alone.”
When he smiled, I felt my knees go weak. “I’m not dating her. I don’t want to date her. What you saw was her trying to make a move on me when you walked in to the classroom. I leaned down and told her it would never happen.”
