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“You liked Tobias.”
“I like myself more.”
“So, you feel nothing?” she asked me gently.
I thought for a moment and I even tried to feel something but the truth was, “No. It’s—Tobias, was …”
“Accessible,” she tried to speak for me.
“Not what I needed,” I corrected.
“Because he was going to betray Ethan?”
“No…” I yawned, not wanting to go on. “I actually enjoyed that he had the balls to do it.”
“Ugh… Dona,” she groaned, rolling on to her back. “Are we chastising him or defending him, I’m confused!”
“Certificated genius, right here,” I joked.
“Shut up!”
“Ah!” She elbowed me right in my healing tattoo which her eyes immediately focused on.
“Oh shit, sorry! You got a tattoo? Without me? I want one!”
“You’d love it for about a week before complaining forever,” I reminded her and she thought about it for a moment before nodding.
“That’s true.”
I laughed and so did she. We laughed until our sides hurt even though nothing was funny.
“We are chastising him,” I finally answered her question, speaking much softer now. “Not for being calculating, or power hungry, not even for betraying Ethan…the family, but claiming to love me without knowing me…thinking I was simply okay with being his prize.”
She yawned covering her mouth before saying; “But didn’t you want to be Ethan? You know, the Ceann na Conairte… If so, you kinda missed your chance there.”
“Be Ethan, no. Never.” I snorted at that. “Be the Ceann na Conairte… I should be.”
“There’s never been a female Ceann na Conairte…not even your mother took that title.”
“Never does not mean impossible; it means not yet.”
Now she snorted, a habit we both got from our Uncle Neal, “The line of succession is Ethan, Wyatt, Uncle Neal, cousin Sedric, then my dad, and my brother; you’d have to wipe out all the men in our family, and even then you would go from hell fucking never to maybe in your dreams… That is if Nari and I don’t kill you for killing our dads and brothers, or you don’t kill yourself for the same reason.”
I froze, not moving as she spoke the reality I’d kept myself from facing, the reason I had to walk back the edge. The reason why I couldn’t betray family even if I wanted to, because the only way I could be the Ceann na Conairte was if I killed them all. She figured it out. I figured it out. Ethan knew from the beginning…again. Which was why he’d felt so comfortable leaving me in charge.
“Dona?”
Focusing on her again, I could see the concern in her brown eyes… I didn’t need or want her worry. So, a manufactured smile came on my face as I teased her back, “I wouldn’t have to kill Sedric or your brother Darcy, because the Irish would gladly make me Ceann na Conairte over an Asian or black kid any day.”
“HEY!” she sat up like Dracula from the grave, “First! I’ll have you know the Irish are way more tolerant people today and there is a huge growing population of black people in Ireland! Secondly, Irish guys love me. Third, Darcy and Sedric are biracial and I take offense on their behalf.”
I rolled my eyes so hard I was shocked they didn’t come out of my head. “We aren’t talking about the Irish people; we are talking about the Irish mob - there is a difference. We aren’t talking about the very best of us, now are we?”
“Says the sister of the head of the Irish mob,” she muttered, falling back down on the pillows. “I’m just saying that…You love your family.”
She said that as if she were silently begging me never to forget it. As if she still wasn’t sure where the line between teasing and reality ended.
“Which is why I didn’t betray anyone… Now shut up and sleep, goddamn it! And move your foot before I chop it off!”
