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“That’s fine. I’ll take you instead.”
Did he really just try to order me? I was a thing to be ordered now?
I handed him the menu. “As you can see, I’m not on the menu.”
“Maybe not this one,” he replied, flicking it aside.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have a vampire-like tendency?”
“Wouldn’t Los Angeles be the worst place for vampires?”
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”
“Sit, Felicity.”
“I’m busy.”
He glanced around the dead diner. There were only two other customers, both of whom seemed to be preoccupied taking selfies together in the corner.
“It might not look busy out here, but it’s madness in back. Poor Rosemary has to do the inventory by herself.”
“Hey, Felicity.” Rosemary came up behind me and placed a coffee in front of Theo, giving me a weird look. “You can leave once you’re done. I finished in back. You did much more than you thought.”
“Excuse me for a second,” I said to Theo before I grabbed Rosemary’s arm and led her to the counter. “What are you doing?”
“Do you know who that is?” she said under her breath as she gripped my hands excitedly.
“Yeah. Theodore Darcy. I know…ouch!” I rubbed my arm when she smacked me.
“Don’t say his name like that!”
“Like what?”
“Like he’s a normal person. He’s God here. Do you know how many people would sell their souls for a chance to be in the same room with him?”
“If seeing him requires you to sell your soul, wouldn’t that make him the devil?”
She glared at me. “Seriously, if people found out Theodore Darcy got his coffee here, every wannabe actor, musician, and director in the state would come in for a latte. Manny will lose his shit that he missed this.”
I didn’t think Manny knew, seeing he had been here yesterday and hadn’t said anything, but then again, he’d been in a piss-poor mood.
“Felicity, be nice.” She let go of me to fetch a piece of short cake. “Tell him it’s on the house.”
“He could own the house if he wanted to,” I muttered as I took the plate and returned to his table.
He’d poured six packets of sweetener into his coffee before drinking it. The man was going to kill himself doing that.
“You’re back,” he stated, taking a sip of his coffee.
“I was told to be nice to you, since you’re almighty and whatnot.” I frowned as I placed the shortcake in front of him. “Enjoy your dessert, your majesty.”
“If you want to be nice, Felicity, then sit. I have something for you.”
“For me?” I sat across from him, and the moment I did, I wanted to smack myself. I’d just given in without realizing it. Screw it; let’s get this over with. “Well, what is it?”
He moved the coffee and cake to the side and lifted the files beside him to the table; one blue and the other red.
“Take the blue file and that’s it. Your royalties will be directly deposited into your bank account, and you’ll never see me after today. You can spend the rest of your life working odd jobs here and there, on top of having lackluster sex with mediocre men who will always disappoint you. But”—he slid the red file up toward me—“if you take the red file, I swear to God your life will change in ways you have only ever dreamed of. It will be the start to a brand new, exciting, sexually fulfilling life by my side as an employee and lover.”
