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“Where are we going?”
“We’re not going anywhere. You’re going back to Maryland,” I told her. “I’ve already called Grams.”
“What?”
“You can’t stay here—”
“You’re kicking me out? Are you fucking serious right now?! Just because I went out a couple times—”
“I’m not kicking you out Selene, you can come back whenever you want, you just can’t live here.”
She looked like I had just stabbed her. “I don’t… I don’t understand? Is because of that guy? ‘Cause I mean, I don’t mind if he comes over—”
“There is no guy.”
“Then why are you shipping me off?!” she demanded.
“Because you’re drowning here Selene!” I yelled getting up. “It was wrong of me to allow you to come here. It was wrong, and selfish, and I’m so sorry. You can’t stay, because if you do, you will destroy yourself. This house, this city, it’s blackening your rainbow. You don’t laugh, you shake at night. You can’t stand to be here, and that’s okay. So go home Selene.”
She glared at me through her tears, and it reminded me of when I came back to get her the first time.
“We don’t leave each other,” she said.
“I’m not leaving you Selene. I’m going to finish law school, I’m going to get dad out, and then, I’m coming home. I promise I’ll work my ass off, but I can only do that if I know that you’re okay, and you were okay back home.”
Her lips shook, and she broke down as she crawled into my arms.
“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I thought— I thought I could do it—”
“You are the most beautiful, funny, creative, intelligent little sister a girl could have. You mean the world to me, and so much more. You shouldn’t be sorry for anything. I’m sorry for not doing this sooner,” I whispered to her.
Starting tomorrow, everything was going to change. I’d always been at the top of my class, I’d always worked for everything I ever wanted. And now, I was going to work ten times harder. I was going to do whatever it took, because I couldn’t afford to lose. I couldn't afford to get sidetracked anymore.
“You going to cross over to the dark side, aren’t you?” she half joked, and I wished I could tell her I wasn’t. “You aren’t like her, you know. I’m sorry for what I said before.”
“Selene it’s fine. Just go pack, alright?”
She nodded and I headed into our mother’s office. It was the only place I hadn’t dared to touch, or even enter. It was like her shrine, and going in made me feel uneasy, but I needed to stop holding back.
Levi had said I should use anything I could to my advantage. My mother was an advantage. I hated using her to get ahead, it made me feel dirty, but I know that that was how I got my scholarship in the first place. When I went in for my interview the dean spent the first five minutes talking about how great my mother was, and how she was one of the building blocks on which Harvard was built.
My mother had a folder for every person who owed her favor, she was just that type of woman; everything came at a price. Now that she was dead, I guessed that everything, just like this house, had passed on to me.
So I was going to call in a favor.
In the back of my mind, I heard the small voice telling me not to do it. Getting any more involved with my mother would be like opening Pandora’s Box, but I made the call anyway.
“Hi, my name is Thea Cunning, daughter of Margaret Cunning…”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LEVI
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