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He banged his head against the seatback.
Why couldn’t his life be a rom com? Why was it turning into a tragedy?
He touched his lips where Wentworth had last kissed him, the corners, the bow. “I love you, Wentworth.”
He shuddered. The words felt so good coming out of him. How much better to say them aloud? He could . . . he could give them both that, at least.
When father and son disappeared inside the boat, Elliot pulled himself out of the car.
He snuck on board. He didn’t want Mr McAllister to know he was there. Didn’t want to face anyone until he reached Wentworth.
Outside Wentworth’s cabin, he knocked.
The door opened almost instantly, whooshing air over him. Wentworth’s amusement at finding Elliot there turned Elliot’s stomach to stone.
“Elliot. I was about to come over.”
Elliot fixed his eyes on Wentworth’s shoulder. “I, um . . . this can’t wait.”
Concern deepened Wentworth’s voice. “Elliot?”
“We need to talk.”
Wentworth gestured for Elliot to come in and Elliot squeezed into the tiny cabin. The moment Wentworth closed the door, he knew it was a mistake to be here. The room was softly lit, too intimate. The bed reminded him of all the times they’d made love. So did the piano, for that matter.
Wentworth reclined on his bed and Elliot paced the short space in front of it. “How-how was your boating trip?”
“Other than a few awkward speeches, good.” Wentworth was frowning.
“What about your interview? How did that go?” Could he have not got the job? Could it be he’d stay in Port Ratapu anyway?
He hated himself for wishing it.
“Well, I wanted to tell you in a different mood, but yes. The position is mine if I want it.”
Elliot’s heart sank. He stopped moving. His eyes stung as he took in Wentworth’s proud little smile. Wentworth’s dream. And it was coming true.
He knew how happy this huge—and it was huge—opportunity would make him. “That’s wonderful, Wentworth.”
He meant it to the bottom of his heart.
Wentworth’s smile grew so big Elliot wasn’t sure there’d be enough space for it. “I know it changes our summer plans, but . . . they want me to start next week, and the month after that they’re flying me out to LA to meet the rest of the team.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Wow, that’s . . . Jesus, that’s huge. You’re going to be famous. Well, more than you are already.”
“If we paid for your flight, they said they’re happy if I bring my boyfriend along. Can you imagine it? Us in Hollywood? It’ll only be a couple of months initially, and we’d be back in Wellington in time for university to start. If . . . I mean, would you consider studying in Wellington?”
What he was asking was: are we doing this together?
Those blue eyes sparkled. They looked so hopeful.
Elliot bowed his head.
Wentworth’s voice tightened into a whisper. “Elliot?”
Tell him the truth. Tell him your mum is sick and you need to stay.
He’ll give up on his dream, you know he will. He wouldn’t ever complain about it either, but the wound would be there. The what ifs would always plague him. The what ifs would always plague you.
A wall of heat suddenly curved around him and Elliot shut his eyes, forehead absorbing the warmth from Wentworth’s shoulder.
“Oh, Bumblebee. What is it?”
“I can’t come with you.”
Wentworth pulled back a few inches and looked into his eyes, confused. “If it’s the cost of the plane ride, I’m wealthy now, remember? You don’t have to worry about expenses.”
Elliot shook his head. “It’s not financial.”
“Hey. Hey, look at me. What is it?”
Those fingers were so soft under his chin.
“I—I’ve been thinking.”
“You always are doing that.” That fond smile was killing him.
No way around it, this would hurt Wentworth. This would hurt the both of them, but in the bigger picture, Elliot was just a first boyfriend. They were always supposed to break up. Firsts never lasted.
“I think we should go our separate ways for a while.”
“What? What are you talking about? Everything was fine yesterday. You were on the cusp of telling me—”
“I was drunk, yesterday.”
Wentworth shook his head. “No, you’re scared. That’s allowed. That’s okay. We’ll get through that.”
“I’m not scared.”
“No. This doesn’t make sense. What’s going on?’
“We’re at a crossroads, Wentworth. We had a wonderful time while we were at high school, but now it’s time to move on. We need to embrace new experiences, new opportunities. Discover more about ourselves.”
“We can do that together!”
“I don’t want to do it together!”
The shock on Wentworth’s face would be etched into Elliot’s brain and broken heart forever.
“But . . . I love you, Elliot.”
I love you too.
He couldn’t say it. There was only one way to free this stubborn oak. He shook his head sadly. “I can’t say it back.”
Wentworth stumbled like he’d been stabbed in the heart. “Can’t right now?”
