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I was glad Mateo was looking into her mother and our fathers, because the truth was what my father expected of me was not accurate to the way he’d lived. For one, if her mother still belonged to our fathers, I didn’t know why she was married to another man, with a daughter that didn’t belong to any of my fathers.
According to Mateo’s records, Sian’s paternity was tested when she was a baby, and did belong to Alexander Roberts. How? Why?
If I asked my dad, he’d want to know how I found out my information. I wasn’t going to do that to Mateo.
She sighed. “I guess you’re right but the only way I’m going to be able to get to know you is if you speak to me. So far, I’ve talked more.”
She folded her arms once again.
I had to do better.
“Mr. Connors, huh, crazy teacher.”
“Yeah, totally crazy.”
I was so fucking bad at this. Running my fingers through my hair, I leaned forward. “Look, I’m sorry. I know this has to be the worst date you’ve ever been on and the truth is I don’t have to … try.”
“Why?”
I smirked. “Come on, you know why.”
“Wow.” She took a deep breath. “You’re not used to being a civilized human being. Got it.”
She unfolded her arms once again and sat up.
This was progress, right?
Silence again. Great.
“Do you know anything about Heather getting a B on her physics paper?”
“No, why?”
“She aces all of her tests. Believe me, I’ve seen the way she studies, and there is no way she got a B. I’ve tried to call my parents. They’re not answering. I promised I followed through with their instructions. I’m living in your dorm. I accepted your selection process. What more do they want?”
“Do you want me to look into it?”
“No. It’s fine. I’ll handle it.” She went back to looking around the room.
“Sian, part of this”—I moved my hand between the two of us—“is not to do any of this alone.”
“I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Have I given you a reason to not trust me?”
She continued to stare at me.
“Don’t answer that part. I mean, I’m here for you, okay? I know what it means to, you know, be this person. I can help you. Make a couple of calls.”
Sian looked at me. “Tell me about everything.”
“What?”
“Everything. The selection, why you do it, all of it. Why we have to adhere to the rules. I’d like to know it all.”
Of all the things for her to ask me, this wasn’t what I expected.
“Sian, I don’t think that’s wise.”
“But keeping me locked in some kind of battle with you is okay? You don’t want me to know the truth.”
“Do you think it will help?” I asked.
“Why not? If you were going to be killed for something you did or didn’t do, wouldn’t you want to know why?”
“You’re not going to get murdered.”
“No? Then why not tell me?”
“It’s easier this way, believe me.”
She leaned forward. “You’ve never given me a single reason to believe you.”
“Why can’t you have a little faith in me?”
She sat back but her hands stayed on the tabletop. “Why?”
“What do you mean?”
“Give me a reason why I should have faith in you.”
“I’m going to make sure Heather stays at All Saints. Her career will not be ruined. I gave you my word on that. I’m also going to do everything I can to make you happy. Your dad did that to your neck, but he will never mark you again. Above all else, I’m going to make sure you never feel the pain that you felt when Drew died.”
Sian’s hands fell from the table. I saw the tears glistening in her eyes at my words.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She swiped them away. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not. You don’t have to hide your feelings from any of us. This isn’t what we wanted for you. You’ve got to believe me.”
She sniffled. “I do. I’m sorry. Thinking about Drew, she got me, you know. Understood me. She was more of a mother to me than my own. I guess it makes it harder for me to hear her name without thinking about her.” She took a deep breath, reached for a tissue, and began to dab at her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing.”
“I bet this is the worst date you’ve ever been on.”
“It’s the most interesting.”
“I’ve never been on a date. This is my first.”
“Now you’re making me feel bad,” I said.
She chuckled.
I smiled.
This was progress.
Slow. But we were both getting there. I took a deep breath. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I will be. Everything will fall into place and it will all be fine.”
Did she believe that or was she just mixing her words together? The waiter brought our food. Sian had composed herself by that time.
