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I also know I’m pushing the envelope farther with my idea of playing cross-family chicken in the pool. In the next few minutes, I’m going to have my coochie pressed against the back of the neck of my best friend’s father.
The dreams I have about him…gahhhhh. They are everything perverted and wonderful. I could never tell Arianna. Certainly not Carter.
But Jack? Ten thousand times a day I think about him. Ten thousand times a day I imagine every aspect of what our life could be together. A life I know is impossible.
But, fortune favors the bold. I’m not sure I’ll be able to not turn into a jiggling, moaning, gyrating sex doll riding his shoulders, lost in orgasm after orgasm as I pull his hair and scream the name I call him in all my fantasies...
Daddy.
Oh God. This isn’t going to end well.
“Okay then.” Arianna shrugs, tugging at the elastic of her own not too modest red and pink polka-dot swimsuit as it rides up her rear end. “Come on, let’s have some fun. We don’t have much time together before Carter and I leave….”
“I know. I wanted to come sooner, I told Carter you would come pick me up but he always has to be in control. It’s like I’m thirteen, not twenty.”
“I know, I’m sorry. My dad isn’t much better.”
I roll my eyes on a snarl. “Really? Who is getting to go to Seattle for the summer?”
“I’m teaching.” She shakes her head. “At a STEM children’s camp.”
“Still.” I heave out a long breath. “Carter would never let me do something like that. I mean, I know I could. I’m not legally bound to obey his rules anymore, but I feel like I am. I wish he would just give me a little more rope…”
Arianna chuckles. “Yeah, to hang yourself. Isn’t that the saying?”
“I suppose it is.” My belly flutters, knowing tomorrow night both she and my brother will be gone, leaving me here alone with Jack. “I don’t know if Carter understands his oppression leaves me really lonely. And…I think he has a girlfriend.”
“What?” Arianna’s eyes widen then her brows draw together. “What makes you think that?”
I shrug a shoulder to my ear. “He’s been ‘out’ more than ever before. Just says he has a meeting or is going to the store. He hates going to the store, I have to practically force him to grocery shop with me once a week. But, that’s not everything…”
“What else?”
“Well, he either has a girlfriend…or a boyfriend. I saw him packing some lacy frilly stuff in his suitcase for this trip. I don’t think lingerie is part of the training. I don’t care either way, but you think maybe…he’s, like, cross-dressing? Or his gender identity isn’t…you know, as he shows?”
Arianna’s cheeks turn bright red. “I don’t think so…” She bites into her upper lip then gives me a tight smile. “He needs a personal life too, right? Whichever direction it goes?”
I nod pinching the bridge of my nose for a second.
“Speaking of hanging yourself…” She raises an eyebrow, lightening the moment. “How’s your TikTok doing? And your Insta? You’ve got a shit ton of followers.”
“Yeah.” A tense pride swells inside me. “It’s taken on a life of its own.”
“Who knew? But, I bet it’s saved some girls from a few bad situations. Some of the comments seem to say as much.”
I nod, wrapping my arms around my middle. “Ballet and martial arts combined for the modern young woman.”
In my boredom, I started a TikTok and Insta under the name TutuDanceFighter. I dress in my leotards, all decked out, hair pulled back, doing my most graceful pirouettes. Then, bam, I cut to me in my gi, punching or kicking a bag or a dummy in our home gym, showing the way the moves were similar. I got more confident, started adding in some banter and fun back and forth dialogue, and before I knew it, I had a hundred followers. Then a thousand, then ten thousand…
Last count, I was floating at about a hundred thousand on TikTok and forty thousand on Insta. TutuDanceFighter’s secret identify cannot be revealed, however, as her overprotective brother thinks any social media is dangerous—let alone one with a following like I’m amassing.
“What about that guy?” Arianna’s voice lowers. “Has he been back since you blocked him? Again.”
“He had another account a week or so ago. Sent me some weird messages, but I just blocked him. Again.”
“Don’t you think you should tell Carter?”
“No! He would shut the whole thing down. I like it. Love it, actually. It’s the me I never thought I could be. Uninhibited, outgoing, fun…”
“You can be all those things. We just are under the thumb of a couple warlords as fathers. Brothers…brother, I mean. Whatever…”
Social media does bring out the crazy, I will agree with Carter on that.
