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“G’night, Heli.” With a heavy heart, I had nothing else to say.
“Night, Hugo.”
“That should do it,” said the makeup artist after dabbing the last of the powder on my face. Charlie, I think she was called. She was nice enough; a little too close for my liking, but that came with the job. She could hardly paint my face from a metre away.
I nodded at the mirror, pretended to care. “Great, thanks. Anyone seen Helen?” I asked, open to anyone in the dressing room.
“She’s next door,” Stefano answered in his lyrical Italian accent as he appeared behind me. He’d flown in two days ago to spend time with Drew. In the mirror, I watched his hands reach for my shoulders, then retreat. He knew better. “You look fabulous,” he said. “I know Drew always likes you in lemon.”
Drew hated me in lemon. “Uh, okay.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about Drew discussing me with his husband. Not in that way. Then again, it was Drew. He discussed everyone in that way. “Cheers, Stef.”
As if he’d heard his name, Drew entered the room. “Twenty minutes till you’re on,” he announced, making my stomach roll.
I pushed out from under the dresser, stood up. “I need to see Helen first. Won’t be long.”
“Don’t you go missing on me!”
“I’m right next door, Drew!” I called over my shoulder, leaving the room.
I found Helen with her head in a pad, pencil poised between her delicate fingers, expression twisted in concentration. Stunning. “Hey, you.”
She looked up, smiled. “Hey. You feeling all right?”
I tilted my head, wobbled my hand. “What you working on?”
“Something for you,” she said coyly.
My eyebrows arched with curiosity as I took a seat beside her. “Oh yeah? Can I see?”
“Remember that day in my spare room? The jumpsuit you saw?”
“Of course.” It was the first time I’d wanted to hold her tight and never let her go again, the time I fully realised what a monumental mistake I’d made eight years ago.
She placed the pad on my knee. “Well, I didn’t get a chance to work on that, but I’ve been thinking, and this could look amazing on you.” I admired the sketch, my jaw dropping at her talent. She’d run with the jumpsuit concept but widened the legs into an almost disco-style flare, and created sheer sleeves.
“That’s fucking beautiful, Heli.”
“And we could even drop this,” she continued, reaching over to adjust her drawing. I could feel the vibrations of the pencil on my thighs, hear her slow, concentrated breaths. “Being a guy, you could pull off a plunge like that. Show off that sculpted chest o’ yours, huh?” She winked up at me through the strands of auburn hair that’d fallen across her face.
“Tell me what you need and it’ll be brought to you, wherever we are.”
“Oh, no.” Shock widened her vivid green eyes. She looked embarrassed. “I don’t want anything. It can wait till I’m home. I wasn’t asking for-”
“I know that, Heli. I’m asking. It looks great and I want it. Tell me what you need to make that happen.”
“Okay. Sure,” she agreed, though the pink remained in her cheeks. “I’ll let you know later, after the show.”
The show. Fuck. Almost over, I reminded myself. It didn’t help that I was so damn tired. I’d be glad when the entire tour was over and I could take Heli back to Los Angeles and do nothing but exist with her for a while.
“Hugo!” Drew’s voice bellowed through the studio walls. “Babe, you’re up in five!”
Sighing, I pressed my forehead to Helen’s, wishing I could snap my fingers and magic us away from here, from everything. “You better go. Find your seat.” I broke contact, stood up, before I wouldn’t be able to.
“Mmhmm,” she murmured. “Remember, you’re talking to me. Just me.”
“You’re-”
“Hugo!” Drew’s bark interrupted me, swiftly followed by him waltzing into the room. “There you are. Are you coming?”
For fuck’s sake. “No, it’s just the way I’m stood.”
Helen snorted. Even that was adorable. Drew, however, was a little less amused. “Oh, so you’ve got jokes now, huh? I remember a time you couldn’t say hi to me without choking on your own awkwardness. Get your ass out here. They’re almost ready to roll again.” Drew stormed off while I shook my head.
Helen smacked her lips. “Wow. He, uh, seems ever so slightly irritated.”
I laughed, rubbed her arm. “Manopause. Don’t worry about it.” Bending, I planted a chaste kiss on the top of her head, inhaled the scent of her hair. It would have to do. It could only ever do. “See you on the other side.”
“And tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we welcome back a very special guest to the show…” I heard Ricky’s voice, upbeat and oozing showbusiness, begin from the other side of the set wall.
I dragged in a deep breath, held it there while I tugged at the cuffs of my yellow suit jacket and practised my smile.
