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But I can tell from the look in her eyes she’s not ready tonight.
And that’s okay.
Even if my need is swelling again, my cock getting hard already.
“Are you angry?” she murmurs.
“No,” I tell her fiercely. “We’ll try again. We’ll never stop trying, not until I’ve claimed that hole.”
She nods. “But what if I can’t ever… what if you never…”
A blush spreads across her cheeks, traveling down her neck, as tears rise in her eyes.
“Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.”
Before I have a chance to react, she leaps to her feet and runs into the ensuite, the sound of her sobbing like stabbing knives to my heart.
Chapter Nineteen
Bria
Tears scour paths down my cheeks as I sit on the commode, my hands wrapped around my knees. I can’t stop replaying the moment he tried to push inside of me, hearing the voice that hissed in my ear.
You’re not good enough, you’re not good enough, you’re not good enough.
It screeched through me until all the sizzling aftershocks of the orgasm faded away and I was left with the certainty I’d never be able to be what he wants me to be.
Even if he’s told me I don’t have to be anything.
Even if he’s told me he wants me the way I am.
“Bria.” Braden’s voice is quiet yet firm on the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”
I almost laugh at the question.
Can I come in?
No, no, obviously he can’t. Because he tried that and my stupid body wouldn’t play along. Of all the ways I imagined being with Braden Braxten, it was never like this, never tinged with this stupid hateful nervousness.
“Yes,” I say, trying to force away the next wave of tears.
But when I look up to find him striding across the bathroom – with his trousers back on now, and his lips turned downward in a frown – another wave of regret barrels through me. My belly knots and I hunch over, letting fly with another round of sobs, my voice cracking and my heart thumping.
“It’s okay.” He kneels down and puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. “Bria, you don’t have to be upset. We can try again. And when we do make love, it’ll be all the more special because we waited. Please don’t cry.”
I try to latch onto his words, to let the truth of them wash over me, but I can’t stop replaying the moment over and over.
I remember how his face shifted, his eyes blazing as he arched his back, and I thought for a crazy split second I might be able to take him inside of me and start bouncing up and down on his dick.
I thought I might be able to tear my fingernails down his back as I twitched up and down feeling his massive cock inside me. But my body simply refused to obey my fantasy, even as my clit burned and my sex screamed at me to let go of this anxiety.
You’re ruining it, my head screamed at me. Take him. Take everything he has to give. Take him deep and hard. Now. Now. Now.
It went on until the pressure became too much, threatening to erupt inside of me, and my mind’s command had the exact opposite effect.
“I mean it.” He kisses me just under the ear, a tingling intimate place, and when he next speaks his warm breath seeps into my body, warming me. “You don’t have to be upset. I’m not angry with you.”
“You said you couldn’t wait any longer,” I murmur.
“Yeah, I did. Because the animal inside of me is howling like one persistent motherfucker and I can hardly remember a time when I didn’t want you. Because my seed is hungry to be inside of you. But do you really think I’d put all that before your comfort, your pleasure?”
I shrug as the tears finally stop, as my next sob dies in my throat.
His hand makes soft patterns on my back, rubbing between my shoulder blades.
“We’re going to be together forever, Bria. Forever. Which means we have plenty of time to try again. Next time we’ll take it slower. If you ask in your sexy voice, I might even give you a massage first.”
“Do I have a sexy voice?”
“Yeah, right there. You just used it.”
I giggle. “This is just my regular voice.”
“Exactly.”
My skin tingles at the thought of his hands rubbing all over me, oily and hot as he grinds his palms against my ass and then up my back. I imagine him rolling me over and massaging my thighs, getting higher and higher until he’s close to my p…
But then my mind seizes up, the same way my body did, when I thought about what would happen when he tried to push inside of me.
“But what if I can’t ever take you? What if you’re too big?”
