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I trail off, not wanting to get too explicit about the inner workings of our sex life.
Even having a sex life is a complete freaking mind blowing situation to me, making me wonder if I’ve walked into some crazy dream.
Especially when I reiterate that my sex life is with Braden Braxten.
Yeah, that’s a real head twister.
“Maybe you need to do the same when you take the next step,” Maximillia says. “I know it’s easier said than done but try to put all those pesky thoughts away and focus instead on the immediacy of the moment. Just focus on him, or the good feelings, or anything other than that little self-sabotaging voice inside of you.”
She meets my eye with a knowing smile, tilting her head as her frown tightens.
“And I know. I’m making it sound like the simplest thing in the world. It might help if you try to take it slower, to give yourself more time to get into it.”
Now my blush is going into overdrive, an all-consuming feeling that touches my neck and my cheeks and feels like it’s whispering over my whole body.
I remember what Braden said, about how we’re going to take it slow next time, and my sex gives an urgent pulse when I think about what exactly he means by that.
“I’ll talk to him about it,” I murmur. “And thank you. For everything. I’ve never had a mother figure before.”
Heck.
The urge to turn back time barrels through me, pounds inside my skull like an order. I think about telling her I didn’t mean it. That I don’t see her as a mother figure.
I know she’s going to think I’m ridiculous, saying something so intimate so soon.
But is that really more ridiculous than my feelings for Braden, than the way they’ve exploded into being, making it difficult to remember a time when I was not his and he was not mine?
“I’m so happy you said that.” She leans forward and places her hand on mine, offering me one of the warmest smiles I’ve ever seen on her face. “I didn’t want to presume to say something so forward. You know me, ever the humble one. But yes, I feel a sort of connection with you too, my dear. Perhaps it’s because I wish I’d had somebody to look out for me when I was your age. Perhaps it’s because you really do remind me of myself. Or I need to stop analyzing this and give you a hug, hmm?”
I giggle as she stands and walks around the table.
I stand and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me close to her, squeezing me tightly. I hug her back, tightening my arms around her.
I try to fight the tears that burn in my eyes, but it’s impossible, especially when they feel like they’re going to explode from my tear ducts.
“Oh, it’s okay, Bria,” Maximillia murmurs. “I understand. You’ve been on your own for far too long, haven’t you?”
I try to tell her, yes, but my voice is choked with the immensity of my emotions. I started this internship with no boyfriend and no friends, definitely no maternal figure in my life.
And now I feel as though I’m on the path to a fulfilling life, a life full of laughter and friendship and banter and love.
Yes, love.
My love for Braden flutters in my chest like an unstoppable force, filling me with a warmth I’ve never felt before.
I just hope next time, I can give myself to him, fully and completely, the way my body is demanding.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Braden
The savage inside of me tries to get me to tackle her onto the bed like I did last time.
The temptation is almost overwhelming, as my gaze roams up and down her body. She takes small steps into the bedroom, looking around at the flickering candlelight with a chest-tightening smile on her face, her eyes glimmering with emotion.
She’s wearing her work shirt, the thin white material driving me to beastly thoughts every time my gaze lands on her. Her hair is wavy and tangled down past her shoulders, daring me to grab a big handful and guide her mouth to mine… and then force her onto the bed, bend her over and drive up inside of her.
But no.
I told her I’d take it slow, coax her into it, give her virgin body a chance to remember how excitable she is.
“This is beautiful,” she says, taking another step into the room, causing her ass to shift alluringly in her tight work pants.
I study her for a long moment, savoring how angelic she looks standing amidst all the candle flames, all the radiance bouncing off her full blushing cheeks.
“You’re beautiful,” I growl, stalking across the room and grabbing her shoulders, forcing myself to keep my hands there, and not move them down to her breasts like every instinct is commanding me to.
