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"What scent?"
His nose twitches and he bares his teeth at me. "You're aroused. By that monster?" His hand feels like a vise on my arm. "That filthy thing turns you on and yet I don't? Is that what you like? You want to be violated?" He flings me away from him, and I have to stagger to keep my balance. "Is that why you push me off, Bee? Because you're keffed in the head after what happened to you? Do you want me to be abusive to you? Will that turn you on?"
I back up, pressing against the wall, and I'm horrified at Riffin's anger. The things he's saying are awful, and yet I'm also kicking myself. I should have known that if I came here smelling like I was turned on, someone would notice it. I forget that the mesakkah—the blue, horned race of aliens that run the show—have sensitive noses. Maybe not as sensitive as Victor, but sensitive enough. The damage is done, though. I hadn't counted on running into Riffin, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise. "You're being unfair, Riffin. And it's time we talked about us anyhow."
"Us?" He laughs, the sound bitter as he paces back and forth. "I'm starting to think there is no 'us,' Bee. There's only me pushing you for things you clearly don't want." Riffin shakes his head, his horns glinting in the late afternoon sunlight. "I never thought I'd be competing with Crulden the Ruiner for my keffing female."
He makes it sound like I'm a prize to be won, and that's the nail in the coffin for me. "Maybe you should look at the reasons you want to be in this relationship with me," I point out. "It's certainly not because of who I am."
"Don't pretend you're the wounded party here, Bee." Riffin shakes his head again, then rakes a hand through his hair, mussing it. "Just…go home, all right? We'll pretend this never happened."
What the heck? Pretend this never happened? It's ugly and unpleasant, but in a way, it's a good thing. I'm sad to lose Riffin as a friend, but after what he's said just now, I don't think we can stay friends anyhow…much less dating. "I need to talk to Lord va'Rin first."
Riffin snorts. "Your timing is all wrong, then. He's off-planet with his wife."
Oh no. "He is? For how long?" When Riffin doesn't answer me, I change tactics, putting on my efficient smile. "All right, then. I'll go talk to First Rank Novis—"
"No, you won't."
If there's something I hate, it's a man telling me what to do. My back goes stiff and I straighten, lifting my chin. "Riffin, he's the one overseeing my job. I need to speak to him—"
"With your cunt reeking from wanting that creature?" Riffin snarls. He grabs my arm again and hauls me off the porch, pulling me down the pretty stone walkway of the estate and toward the gate. "No, you won't. You're going to go home and wash that stink off of you. You think First Rank Novis will appreciate that you get turned on by that thing? You value your job so much, act like it."
"Let go of me, Riffin," I say tightly, struggling against his arm. The other guards watch me curiously but don't help out as Riffin tugs me past them. They know we're a couple, and I guess in their eyes, this is just a tiff? It angers me, but I'm not surprised. For all that the aliens here talk a big game about letting this place be a safe haven for human women, they still view humans as slightly stupid things that need to be protected from themselves.
"Go home, Bee," Riffin says again, escorting/dragging me out of the estate. Once I'm past the fence, he gestures at the distant town of Port on the horizon. "Get an air-sled, go home, wash up, and we'll talk about this tomorrow."
I don't want to talk about this tomorrow. I'm not even sure I ever want to talk to Riffin ever again. But the guards are staring at us with surprise and interest, and I know they'll be gossiping about our fight before the night is out. So I straighten my tunic, lift my chin, and smile sweetly at the nearest guard. "Who wants to give me a ride back to Port?"
The next morning, I shower twice before I head to the garrison. I scrub my nether parts so hard that my skin burns, and I slather on the herbal paste that everyone here uses for deodorant. My arms are mottled from finger-sized bruises where Riffin grabbed me, so I put on a long-sleeved tunic even though it's warm today. The bruises make me sad because they feel like the end of something. I know Riffin was upset, and I made him upset. I also know he's much stronger than me and probably doesn't realize he hurt me, so I'm not mad over them.
