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The guard closest to me—Kennak—shakes his head, stepping protectively in front of me when I try to approach the window to get a better look. "You shouldn't be in here." He nods to another. "Robas, take her out of here."
When Robas steps forward, I sidestep his helping hand and move to the far side of Kennak. "Tell me what happened. What triggered him? What caused this?" And is it related to the self-harming he was doing yesterday? My stomach ties in knots. Should I have said something to the guards? It would have felt like a violation of Victor's trust, but maybe it could have prevented this. "He was fine when I left yesterday. Something happened."
Kennak shakes his head, neatly positioning himself so I can't get to the door panel. "It started last night, a few hours after dusk. He was fine one moment, laying on his bed, and in the next, he jumped up and started pacing. He wouldn't talk to us when we attempted to communicate, and when he started clawing at the walls, we made the choice to tranquilize him. The moment he awoke, he started doing this again, though." He rubs his jaw, thinking. "We might have to take drastic measures if he presents a threat to others."
Oh god. I can only imagine what those “drastic measures” are. They want to kill him. They think he's unsafe. That his presence is a threat to the settlers here. As I watch Victor claw runnels into the tile, I can't even say that they're wrong. He can't be around anyone like this.
Even so, I can't give up on him.
Up until yesterday, I really thought I was getting through to him. I thought I was making a difference.
"Female," Kennak says in a gentle voice. "Perhaps you should return home this day. There is nothing for you to do here."
I shake my head. "I can help him," I promise in my normal perky voice, even if I feel like I'm dying a bit inside. Seeing Victor regress like this is absolutely crushing my soul. It hurts that I can't help him. It hurts that he's clearly struggling and there's nothing I can do. "Please, let me help him."
"How?" Kennak's grip tightens on his weapon. "You're not going in there today. Not today, maybe not ever again."
Never again? The thought is painful. No more conversations with Victor. No more teasing lessons that end with that belly-fluttering tension. No more of him curling those claws against his thigh, as if he wants to reach out and touch me but doesn't trust himself. No more of him watching me like I'm a particularly delicious morsel he can't wait to eat. "I can help him," I say, keeping my tone bright. "He likes the food I bring, right? Maybe that'll help shake him out of this spell."
"No," Kennak begins.
I ignore him and push my way toward the window, but I don't reach for the panel. Instead, I knock on the impenetrable glass, glass that I've been told is strong enough to withstand tons of force. "Victor," I call out, even though he probably can't hear me through the walls. "Victor, it's me, Bee. You have to stop this."
I don't expect my plea to do anything. It's just me desperately hoping for something to change. This can't be the way Victor goes out. To my surprise, though, his shoulders tense. His tail flicks, and his head lowers. "Bee," he growls, and it's just enough of an enunciation of my name to realize that he's not growling. He's responding.
My heart flares with hope. I clutch Kennak's arm. "Did you hear that? He's calling for me."
"Female," Kennak warns with a look. "I don't know what you think you heard, but this is a bad idea."
"He responded," I repeat stubbornly. "Let me go in there and talk to him. I can make him stop this."
"You're insane. I'm not letting you keffing anywhere near that door. First Rank Novis will have my head if he tries anything." Kennak tries to pull me away. "I'm not about to let a human female get murdered by that beast on my watch."
I twist out of his grip, ignoring the pain from the bruises that go up my arm. I don't know what's going on but it's clear to me that Victor needs me. He needs my help, and I'm going to go to him. I glance up at Kennak, who has, by all accounts, been as pleasant as expected. He doesn't like Victor, but he's a stickler for the rules and is one of the more watchful guards. I need to use that dedication to his job against him. "Lord va'Rin wants him reformed, not murdered," I say reasonably. "I know you're worried about the safety of the guards here, but I assure you, I can fix this. Let me go in and talk to him."
