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"You're still here?" Riffin asks from over my shoulder, startling me.
I jump, my hand going to my pounding heart. "Don't sneak up on me."
He frowns, looking at our surroundings. I'm in the same spot in the busy hall, the guards clustered near the door and chatting. Crulden's still in his cage behind a thick, heavy door. Riffin didn't exactly sneak up, but I wasn't paying attention. I've just been too caught up in trying to mentally solve the problem that is Crulden.
"You shouldn't be here late," Riffin says. "It's dangerous. Let me walk you back to the boarding house."
I want to protest, but it's clear I need to rethink my strategy. I won't be able to help Crulden—or get the job I want—sitting on my butt in a hallway, ignored by everyone. So I should head home, sleep, and come to this fresh in the morning. I nod at Riffin and get to my feet. He puts a possessive hand on my shoulder, and I glance at the cell (because that's what it is, no matter what they call it) one last time.
Crulden's eyes are gleaming slits, and I know he's watching as I leave.
It's a long walk to the boarding house, so I'm not entirely surprised when Riffin borrows one of the air-sleds from the guard house and gives me a ride home. I want to protest, but the truth is that I do need that escorted ride back home. Lord va'Rin is doing his best to make Risda safe, but wherever there are humans, there are people willing to prey on them, and sometimes it's just not safe.
I hate that Riffin's going to want something in exchange, though. He always does.
So I let Riffin guide me up to the doors of the boarding house, but when he looks expectantly inside, I steadfastly ignore it. I stop on the porch and smile. "Thank you, Riffin. I appreciate your thoughtfulness."
"How appreciative are you?" He reaches out and touches my cheek with his thumb. If I was attracted to him, I might find that sexy. As it is, it just sends a shudder up my spine. It's not that Riffin's a bad guy. It's just…I don't know. He's easily manipulated, which makes me think he's not that smart, and I like a smart man. Of course, it's that whole “easy to manipulate” that makes him the perfect boyfriend, so I suppose I can't complain too much.
He's also a terrible kisser, and just his touch turns me off. His mouth tastes stale against mine and I've started to dread the kisses he feels are his right as my boyfriend. I guess he's not wrong. If he's my boyfriend, I should want him to kiss me, right? I shouldn't be relieved when he's too busy to be around that day. I shouldn't be holding him at arm's length.
So I tilt my face up, a silent invitation for a kiss.
Riffin is immediately on me, his thick tongue shoving through my lips and jackhammering into my mouth. I try to go along with it, to find some pleasure in his enthusiasm, but when he doesn't slow down, I go still and wait for it to be over, like usual. His breath tastes like old protein bars and I try not to gag when he gets overly slobbery. He just needs to learn how to kiss, I remind myself.
I just…don't want to be the one to do it.
Not for the first time, I think I should break up with Riffin. I know he's not interested in me. He wants a human as a mate, because several of the mesakkah men have claimed mates and settled down here. It's a status symbol to him, along with the promise of kinky alien (human) sex. He wants the other males he works with to be jealous of him and his status. He's eager to show them that he's special enough to get a human female. That he's part of some exclusive, dick-swinging club the guardsmen are setting up amongst themselves.
Too bad for him I'm not interested in sex. That need was killed years ago, when I was first captured. Now I just tolerate his caresses and dole them out as special favors and hope he doesn't ask for more.
At some point, it won't be enough. But for now? Riffin is happy. When I break the kiss, he beams at me and I do my best not to wipe my lips. "You still owe me from before," he says, ruining the moment. "When will you let me in so we can mate? Other males do not have to wait months for their female to accept them."
Ugh. I lose every ounce of sympathy I had for the guy. "Then maybe you should find yourself another female. I told you I don't want to be rushed, Riffin. You keep pushing me and I don't like it."
