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I nodded silent understanding and set the sponge down. When I left the kitchen, Ben and Cooper were nowhere to be seen. I wrapped my arms around my waist, as though I could keep my stomach from churning. The dinner had been mouthwatering, and I’d eaten way too much, a choice I was now regretting as my full stomach mixed with my unsettled emotions.
Chapter Ten — Allie
I wasn’t ready to face Cooper yet, and I also knew trying to sleep would be pointless. My body was exhausted, but my mind had never been more awake, rumbling with thoughts and worries, so I went outside to get some fresh air. The porch light was on, and when I stepped onto the porch, I saw Ben sitting on the front porch swing, staring out over the yard. He didn’t look up when I opened the front door, and when I sat down on the porch swing next to him, he jolted.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Is it okay if I stay here for a little while?”
He nodded and then looked back where he’d been staring before. I took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as the swing rocked us gently back and forth. When it stilled, I looked over at my brother and sighed, “I hate to even have to ask this question, but where’s Luke?”
Ben’s jaw clenched. “I called him as soon as I got the call from Mom, he didn’t answer—” I scoffed. “—and when he finally got around to returning my voicemail, the next day, he claimed that he’s tied up at some work conference and couldn’t get away.”
“Asshat,” I mumbled under my breath.
Ben nodded in silent agreement. “Basically. I kept thinking I’d get a call or text or something saying he’d changed his mind, and he was on the way after all, but nothing. Radio silence. I’ve texted him every time there’s been an update, so I mean, he knows what’s going on at least.”
I squeezed Ben’s hand. “That’s good. More than I would probably have done.”
Ben didn’t say anything, but kept a hold of my hand as he pushed off the deck and sent us rocking again. It was dark outside and the street was a murky black, only faintly illuminated by the single street light at the four way stop down the road. I wondered how many times Ben and I had sat just like this over the years. We’d always been fairly close, especially bonded in the times when Luke was out of control and battling with our parents. I’d always been a little bit of a wild child, but Luke consistently made me look like an angel, by comparison. I might have died my hair every color of the rainbow and had too many holes in my skin according to my parents and their friends, but I’d never done half the shit Luke had over his high school years. It really was a miracle he hadn’t landed in jail. Among the things that could have been on his rap sheet—shop lifting, underage drinking, street racing, vandalism, trespassing…and I didn’t want to know what else.
Ben, on the other hand, was the light to Luke’s dark. He was a straight A student, lead baritone in the school choir, didn’t have any ink or piercings, dated nice, pretty girls who kept their legs shut till marriage, and was always willing to help out anyone in town when they needed him. From the outside, it was a wonder we’d managed to stay as closely knit as we did, considering how much of a golden boy he’d been. In the past, it had always been something I’d used for ammo in my relentless teasing of him and his straight laced tendencies, but as we sat there, swinging in silence, I was simply grateful to have him beside me. I couldn’t imagine facing this alone.
&
nbsp; “So, tell me about Cooper,” Ben said, breaking through the melancholy silence. He glanced over at me with a crooked smile and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“What would you like to know?” I asked, grinning as I tucked my feet up underneath me. The night air was biting through my thin pajama pants, and I buried my toes under Ben’s thigh for extra warmth.
“Anything, really. He showed up this morning with a huge bag of snacks and drinks for us and helped us all day with whatever we needed, but he didn’t say much, other than to let us know that y’all are together.”
I smiled, running through the mental image of the scene Ben painted with his words, but it faded quickly as I remembered how awful I’d been to Cooper as soon as we’d gotten alone. I hadn’t even said thank you…I pinched my eyes closed for a moment, hating myself for my knee jerk reaction. God, when had I turned into such a bitch?
“It’s kind of a long story, which sounds ridiculous since we really haven’t been together all that long. Let’s see, Reader’s Digest version, he was a client when I was working at an ad agency. He got me a job at his company, Brighton Enterprises, when I was wrongfully terminated from the ad agency. And, I don’t know, one thing kind of led to another, and a few months ago, we decided to pursue our relationship.”
“Well, I know you didn’t ask for it, but you got your big brothers stamp of approval, Al. He seems like a really stand up guy,” Ben offered, smiling over at me.
I held his gaze, seeing so much of my father’s features reflected back at me. “I’m sorry I’ve been so out of the loop since I left.”
Ben looked away, the smile dropping from his lips. He nodded into the darkness, as though gathering his thoughts, before looking back at me. “I get it, Allie. I do. Growing up here was tough for you and I’m sure that it’s a lot easier to sever the ties and not have to think about all of it too much.”
I was thankful he’d left the details unspoken. “It’s easier, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you, and mom and dad.” My voice was so soft—my words barely a whisper, almost spoken more to myself than to Ben. He didn’t say anything else, but gave my hand, that was still clasped in his, an extra squeeze.
* * * *
Cooper was lying on the bed, his back propped up against the mountain of pillows my mom had laid out for us. He held a book in his hands, but his eyes were closed and his head was back against the upholstered headboard. Relief flooded over me as I closed the door as softly as possible, and began tiptoeing across the room towards the bathroom, making it halfway there before he jerked awake. “What time is it?” He asked, orientating himself.
“I don’t know, eight or nine, probably.” I grabbed my backpack and dug to the bottom for the pair of pajama pants and tank top I’d packed. I slipped into the bathroom and changed behind the door. When I reappeared, Cooper was staring at me, still lying back on the bed. “I can sleep downstairs,” I offered. “The couch pulls out.”
“Why would you do that?” Cooper snapped, sitting up all the way.
I picked at the lace edge of the tank top, tugging it down to cover the sliver of skin that was exposed. “Because this feels weird right now. I don’t know what to say to you.”
Cooper took a deep breath and then set aside the book that was in his lap and patted a spot on the bed. “Come here.”
My feet were anchored in place. “We need to talk about this, Cooper.”
“What do you think I’m trying to do?” He asked, an edge of frustration creeping into his tone.
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s just say, you have a habit of solving arguments with sex.”
