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Nothing.
I debated going to refill my coffee but I didn’t want to risk running into the reception brat pack that usually congregated in the break room this time of day.
All I knew was that if I didn’t get something to occupy my brain soon, Cooper was going to take over again and I really couldn’t let that happen.
For the tenth time in the last twenty minutes, I hit refresh and frowned when no new messages pulled up. A flutter of disappointment flashed through me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was wishing for him to send me something. Anything. Anything to prove that he actually cared about me, in some small way, and that I wasn’t just another conquest on his list. For all I knew, he could have a personal goal about banging every new associate under thirty-five, or something like that.
Even at the thought, I rolled my eyes. I knew better than that. I didn’t know what was happening between us, but somehow I knew it was more than that.
Wasn’t it?
I hit refresh again.
“Argh!” I pushed back from my desk, flinging my arms up in frustration.
Logically, I knew this unresolved feeling hanging over my head was my entire fault. I was the o
ne who ran for cover at the first chance. I had spent the better part of a day trying to figure that whole thing out. I had been hit with a huge wave of anxiety over my appearance, my unapologetic need for this man I hardly even knew, the stress of him being tangled up with my company and causing unrest in my job security—and the job security of a friend. All the frazzled, half-baked thoughts rattled around my brain as I sat, like a complete loony, hitting refresh, wishing and hoping…for what? Was I waiting for a declaration of love and commitment? I decided that wasn’t the case, when the very idea sent a blast of nausea to my stomach. Did I just want him to be honest with me, for once, so I could stop feeling like such an idiot around him, like he always had the upper hand? Possibly. Or at least, that seemed more likely than the first idea.
I leaned back in my chair and lay my head back, shutting my eyes against the harsh light of the fluorescent lights above me.
A new idea popped in my head and I straightened up in my chair and scooted back to my computer. I clicked New, and started to furiously type. I kept it professional—well okay, ninety-nine percent professional—and wrote a convincing argument against BHA, inserting a long list of links to research at the bottom of the page.
Even if Cooper was done with me and never wanted to see me again, I still wanted to use my last little ounce of influence to try and make a difference. On the plus side, it also kept my brain occupied and made me look intensely busy to any lurking managers or co-workers.
Once the email was finished, I re-read it to myself, whispering the words under my breath as I went along. I made a few changes and then hit Send. I brushed my hands against each other and leaned back in my chair.
“What was that all about?”
“Shit!” I exclaimed, almost falling out of my chair at the interruption of Bryce’s voice. “How long have you just been lurking there?”
“Long enough to watch you type the better part of that novel you just sent off. What’s going on? Are you getting in more trouble? Because let me tell you, doll, I can’t handle anymore drama this week. I got my ass handed to me this morning. Good thing I promised Rita I’d watch over you. That seemed to calm her down for the most part.”
“I’m sorry, Bryce. I promise no more drama. It was just some research that Coo—I mean, that Mr. Brighton asked me to do,” I answered, fibbing ever so slightly.
Bryce scanned me for a moment, acting like some kind of human lie detector.
“What?” I asked, giving him my best doe-eyed expression.
“You’re up to something. But you know what, the less I know, the better. Keeps me out of trouble that way. I can deny, deny, deny.”
I laughed and he smiled back at me. Finally, things seemed to be back to normal between us.
“Listen, I do appreciate all the help you’ve given me. I hope I haven’t caused any long-term problems for you here.”
He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Nothing irreversible.”
“All right.”
“So I actually came by to drop off these training packets.” He extended his hand and held out a thick packet of paperwork for me. “I figure it’s time we get you back on track for your actual job. I checked in with the ads department this morning and it sounds like Mr. Brighton gave his approval to all the new ads you helped with and he won’t need anything until next quarter. So you’re off the hook.”
“That’s great!” I smiled, but inside I felt a stab of disappointment. I guess that was the confirmation I had been looking for all morning. But it was less satisfying than I’d imagined. It all seemed so anti-climactic. That was it? It was just over now?
The sadness morphed into a flicker of anger as I wondered if yesterday in his office had been the goal all along and it hadn’t been about ads in the first place. I mean, really, how stupid was I to think that he would just swoop in and handpick me to take on such an important task, with no experience, training, or track record?
Well, consider me played.
“Are you okay, Allie?” Bryce asked as he studied the shift of emotions play out on my face.
