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Bastian bowed his head to Kerrigan. “Indeed.”
“I still think he’s behind the Red Masks,” she told them both.
“Even if it’s true,” Helly said, “you cannot go around saying so. We’d need definitive proof before we could bring it to the council, and you’re already on thin ice.”
“Do you really believe that he’s behind the Red Masks?” Bastian asked carefully.
“Yes,” she said and then frowned. “I don’t know. I want to say yes. He just let them all go. And the way he treats humans and half-Fae.” Kerrigan sighed. “We need more proof.”
“What you need to do is keep your head down,” Helly said.
“I agree,” Bastian said, “with Kerrigan.”
Helly looked at him in alarm. “What?”
“We’ve been investigating for months. If Lorian is working with the Red Masks, then we need proof.”
“Yes, of course, but Kerrigan needs to finish training first and foremost.”
Bastian nodded. “Let us work on it in the meantime.” He patted her arm. “We will get to the bottom of this.”
36
The Probation
Fordham opened the door to Kerrigan’s room bright and early the next morning. “You’re all right.”
She half-opened her eyes to see him standing in the doorway. She’d slept terrible. It had taken ages for her to fall asleep, and then she’d been racked with nightmares about the riot.
“I’m not in chains anymore,” she murmured.
“Gods,” Fordham growled. He sank into the bed next to her.
“Helly knocked me out when I found her. She wouldn’t let me come see you. This morning, she said you’re on probation?”
She groaned. “Yeah.”
Fordham shook his head. “That’s disgusting. You didn’t do anything wrong. And if you’re in trouble, then shouldn’t I be?”
Kerrigan grasped his hand to keep him from barging off and doing something stupid. “Don’t. I don’t want you to get in trouble too. You wouldn’t have even been at the protest if not for me.”
“That’s ridiculous. The way everyone is talking about it, it’s like the Red Masks weren’t even there and we destroyed those buildings ourselves.”
“Welcome to being a minority in Kinkadia.”
She was just so tired. So, so tired. No matter what happened, the blame befell them. And they could try and try to dig themselves out, but they were still always seen as the problem.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
Fordham rose to his feet. “Not at all.”
Audria shot Kerrigan a knowing look. “Time for our first day of flying.”
Kerrigan groaned and pulled her pillow over her face.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s grounded. No flying for a month.”
“What?” Audria gasped. “That’s absurd. We just started flying. She’s going to be behind. How do they expect us to be a unit without her?”
Kerrigan shot Fordham a look, and he ushered Audria out of the room and explained in a whisper. She was glad that she didn’t have to be the one to do it.
The first thing she’d done when she got out of the cell was send a letter to Dozan, asking about Clover, and one to Fallon’s residence in Central to ask over Hadrian. She hadn’t received any word back yet, but she couldn’t exactly leave to go find out if they were okay. Even sending the letters had felt risky with her probation hanging over her head. But she had to know.
It hung over her head as she got ready and headed out to training early. Alura eyed her without a trace of pity. She hadn’t expected any from the trainer, but it was still frustrating. None of this was her fault.
Tieran was waiting when she arrived. What did you do?
“I’m sorry,” she said at once. “You’ll still be able to practice the maneuvers.”
Little good it does me without you.
She winced. “Look, Lorian is gunning for me. This wasn’t my fault. I get you being angry, but keep your condescension to yourself.”
Fine, he snapped and then flew off.
She glared at his retreating back. She couldn’t even call him back to have this out. If he wanted to be petulant about it, then fine. She couldn’t change the outcome, and she didn’t regret going.
The worst part was sitting in the arena and observing the flying lessons. All she wanted to do was get on Tieran’s back and put the work in. Flying was her favorite thing in all the world. Bastian had probably known she’d feel cut out for missing these lessons, but he couldn’t have known that it would feel like she’d lost a limb. Flying was the one thing about all of this that had always made perfect sense. And now that she finally could do it whenever she wanted, she was barred.
The other four trainees came off of the arena, covered in sweat but laughing and jovial. Kerrigan kept her face carefully blank. She couldn’t let them see her in distress. Kerrigan was quieter than normal, but no one commented on it. How could any of them blame her?
She still had to go to all of her regular lessons. The new air instructor was nothing like Zina with her eccentricities. Frankly, he was boring. The rest of the lessons were even more grueling. She’d received no word from Zina after her disappearance, and it took two whole days before she heard back from Dozan. A short missive that said Clover and Hadrian had made it out of the massacre. Clover hadn’t come herself to deliver the message. She’d gotten it from one of Dozan’s little spies. It was at least a relief that they were alive, but she couldn’t imagine what was keeping Clover away.
