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At first, she didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. Her body was perfectly still.
She’d had a panic attack. One that had nearly stopped her from breathing.
“Hello, Sian,” I said.
Slowly, she sat up in bed. Her hair was all over the place as she ran a hand over her face, trying to clear the fog. “Hey,” she said. “What’s going on?”
“Do you have any recollection of what you tried to do this morning?” I asked.
She didn’t try to deny it. “You already know, so why ask?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” She threw the covers off her body and turned away from me.
“You’re sure?”
“Fuck off, Gideon. What do you want me to say? I nearly tried to kill Chloe today but your dads stopped me. They have some kind of superhero complex and wanted to save the bad girl?”
“They didn’t give a shit about Chloe, Sian. They stopped you for you.”
She snorted. “Please, they probably stopped me for themselves and because they have been told by their precious Society.” She mocked the last word. Her voice went high-pitched, and I couldn’t help but smile.
She got to her feet and then sat back down.
Getting out of my chair, I went to her, offering my hand.
She looked at it as if I was some kind of snake.
“I’m not going to bite you, princess,” I said. “I figure if I help you up, we can get you to the shower or a bath. You stink.”
“Where is everyone?” she asked.
“Sleeping, resting. Trying to make sense of everything.”
She nodded.
I still held my hand out for her to take. I expected her to deny it, but then she put hers within mine and I smiled. I just couldn’t help myself.
Helping her to her feet, I wrapped an arm around her waist, and we walked through to the bathroom.
I wasn’t lying to her. She did stink, and with the day she had, I had a feeling she needed to rinse it all off, even if it didn’t feel like it now.
Once in the bathroom, I placed her on the toilet lid and got to work setting up the shower.
“I wanted to kill her,” Sian said.
I paused before turning on the water to look at her.
She lifted her head to me, and I saw the tears in her eyes.
“How can you even look at me without hating me?” she asked. “I saw her and I just, Heather and the video, it was all too much. I wanted her to feel the pain that Heather must have felt, you know?” She sniffled, averting her gaze.
I crouched down, putting my hands on her knees. “I get it.”
This drew her attention back to me. “You do?”
I nodded. “Do you think I haven’t thought about what you did?”
She shook her head.
“Sian, I knew where Chloe lived. I also knew that if I texted her to meet me, she would. She’d probably gloat or do and say some stupid shit that she does. I wanted to kill her. I thought about it so many times. Each time I looked at you, I wanted to kill her. I wanted her to feel fear and pain like you did that morning.”
“Why?” Sian asked.
I cupped Sian’s face, running my thumbs across her cheeks, I smiled at her. “Why do you think? I saw that video, I know what I came to. You were in so much pain that day. Your best friend was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t save you or her. That pain needs to make someone suffer, but it can’t be you. I can’t allow Chloe’s evil to touch you,” I said.
“I don’t know everything about The Society, but my dad warned me that once I got started on this path with them, the moment I took my place, there was no getting out. The Society has a way of making those who defy them pay. Chloe has done that. I know they are going to make sure she wishes she never turned her back on them.”
I wiped away the tears spilling down Sian’s face. “Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand it when you cry.”
“Your dads said the same thing. The Society will fix it.” She sniffled and wrinkled her nose. “That smell is me, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it really kind of is.”
“You must like me to put up with this.”
I gripped the back of her neck and forced her to look at me. William told us all what he did. I wasn’t going to lie, part of me was a little scared The Society would hear what he did and we’d be punished accordingly, but at the same time, fuck it.
“I love you, Sian,” I said.
Those words had never left my lips for anyone else.
I loved Sian, and it was talking to William that made sense to me. How he described it made sense.
