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I gaped at him, heart skipping and then speeding up. “Do you really need to ask that question?”
His head jerked stiffly toward Tavius’s body and then slowly turned back to me. The eather whirled in his eyes. “How have you paid?”
There was no way in the entire vast kingdom I would speak to him of how my life had been. That I would ever peel back my skin like that and expose all those raw nerves. Maybe I already had based on the way he eyed me as if he were trying to pry his way into my thoughts.
“What led to this?” He took a measured step forward. “What did they do to you?”
His question pierced the chaotic storm of emotions. The sticky embarrassment that always accompanied thoughts of my family surged through me, and that was a blessing. It was familiar. Grounding. I latched onto it, finding Sir Holland’s instructions. I went through the steps until I no longer felt coated in shame, no longer felt as if I were about to suffocate.
“Impressive,” Ash murmured.
I stared at him. “What is?”
“You.”
My lip curled. Empty flattery was the last thing I needed. “You were…you were never going to come for me.” I already knew this, but having it confirmed was an entirely different thing. “Were you?”
“What I said three years ago has not changed,” he replied flatly. “What has is the situation. I will fulfill the deal now and take you as my Consort.”
My brows flew up. “You couldn’t sound less enthused if you tried.”
Ash said nothing.
It shouldn’t matter. All that did was that he was taking me as his Consort. That gave me a real opening. A chance. It gave the kingdom a real chance, but my mouth…gods, I had no control over it, and this was insulting. “And what if I don’t want to be your Consort?”
“It doesn’t matter what either of us wants now, liessa. This is the hand we’ve been dealt,” he said. “And we must go with it. I will not leave you here to be executed.”
I drew back in disbelief. “Am I supposed to be grateful for that?”
Ash smirked. “I wouldn’t dare ask for your gratitude. Not when this was inevitable. It was bound to happen one way or another.”
“Because you caused this!” I nearly shrieked. “You made the deal—”
“And I am here to honor it!” Ash shouted, startling me. His eyes were like pure chunks of ice. “There is no other choice. Not for you. Not now. Even if you managed to escape punishment for what happened here, I staked my claim on you in front of others. That will spread, eventually reaching the attention of the gods and other Primals. They will become curious about you. They may even believe you hold some sort of sway over me. They will use you, and whatever ways you have paid these past three years will pale in comparison to what they will do.”
I have plenty of enemies.
I clearly remembered him saying that. So many questions rose. I wanted to know more about these enemies—what exactly made them opponents. I wanted to know why they would want to sway him—what they hoped to gain from the Primal of Death. I really wanted to know who was bold enough to attempt to incite his anger. I had a lot of questions, but none of that mattered.
Neither did his reasons for deciding to finally fulfill the deal. I had insulted Tavius’s fragile ego, but mine was no better.
It could be pity or empathy, lust or a situation out of his control. The why behind it didn’t matter. The only thing that did was Lasania. I looked away from him, my gaze briefly falling on Tavius. I closed my eyes. What was I doing standing here arguing with him? That surely wouldn’t aid me in earning his affections and saving Lasania.
A sharp twist went through my chest. End him. I couldn’t stop it. The memory of how I felt sitting beside him at the lake resurfaced. The way he made me smile—made me laugh. How easy it had been to talk to him. The twisting motion intensified, settling in my throat. I thrust all of that aside and made myself see the Coupers, all of them, lying side by side in bed together. I held onto that image as I exhaled roughly, opening my eyes.
Ash was watching me. Neither of us said anything for a long moment and then he spoke. “Choice ends today. And for that, I am sorry.”
I curved my arms around my waist, unsettled for a multitude of reasons. He genuinely sounded sorry, and I didn’t understand. We were in this situation because of the deal he made.
Everything I had to do and would have to do was because of what he chose.
I watched him extend a hand toward me, and the urge to take flight hit me hard. “I…I want to say goodbye to my family.”
