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“She is,” he confirmed.
I mulled that over. “Do they know about the deal your father made?”
“They don’t, but I am sure they suspect that not all is as it seems.”
I nodded slowly. I imagined anyone who knew Ash would have questions about him randomly appearing with a mortal Consort. “How did things go at the Pillars? Were there souls you had to judge yourself?”
“There were, and things went both good and bad. It’s never easy making that choice. Life is important, liessa, but what comes after is an eternity. I know many believe that things are black and white. That if you do this or that, you will be rewarded with paradise or punished.” He lifted his hand, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen against his cheek. “It’s never simple. There are people who do terrible things, but that doesn’t always mean they’re terrible people.”
I twisted toward him, drawing a leg up onto the daybed. “You can say that because you see the soul exposed after death. You would know.”
“I do, but I still see the taint of whatever they did. It overshadows a lot of the good, but some exist in a shade of gray where they are not as easy to judge as the person who prays to the gods to end the lives of others would be.”
My brows lifted. “People pray for that?”
“I have lost count of how many times someone has come to the Shadow Temple, summoning a god to cause death upon another. I…” He exhaled slowly. “There was a time that I would answer those summonses.”
I stilled. Gods often answered summonses, but he must have been like his father.
“I would enter the Shadow Temple and hear the words mortals spoke. Listen to the favors they requested—the lives they wanted to end. I knew immediately that some were bad. Spoiled and rotten to the core,” he told me. “They asked for death for profit or because of some petty slight. Their motives were a pestilence, one I knew I couldn’t allow to spread. They didn’t leave the Temple.”
My fingers loosened on the blanket. I had a feeling I knew why they didn’t leave.
“And then there were others.” His fingers had stilled, but they were stiff. “Those who asked for the death of another because they sought relief from a brutal employer or an abusive father. Some who were pushed to their breaking points and saw no other option because there was none. Even if those people didn’t harm another, the intent was still there. Should they be punished? Should they be treated differently? What of those who kill to protect themselves or another? They are not like the others, but their crimes are the same.”
“How…how do you know what to do?”
“All I can do is look at their life as a whole. And each time I sentence a soul, I always wonder if it was the right choice. Was I punishing someone who didn’t deserve it? Or was I letting someone off too easily? I ask that every time, even though I know I will never have an answer.”
“I can’t imagine making that choice,” I admitted. “What did you do for the ones you answered? Those asking for the death of another because they were being hurt?”
“I did not make a deal with them. I do not ever make deals. But I did grant the favor they sought.” A muscle clenched along his jaw as he stared ahead. “I found the person and ended it. I told myself I didn’t enjoy it. That I was removing evil from the realm.”
“But that wasn’t true?” I asked. “You did, but not in a…perverse way. You enjoyed the justice. The knowledge that they could never hurt another person, and you were the one making sure of that.”
His gaze slid to mine, and he nodded. “An odd thing for you to know.”
The blanket slipped down my arms, gathering at my elbows. “Why did you end up stepping back?”
“Because the deaths stopped leaving a mark,” he answered. “And I started to enjoy it, especially the moment they realized exactly who I was that either answered their summons or visited them in their home. The realization as it dawned in their eyes that not only would I take their life, but I would also have their souls for eternity. That’s when I stopped—when I stepped back and let the gods answer the summonses. Rhahar normally does it now.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “How…how did you know it was getting to that point?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, but I felt his gaze on me. “It’s not something you can put into words. It’s something you just know.”
Just something you know. I tugged the halves of the blanket together, words crowding my throat. “Are you reading my emotions now?”
