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“Why?” Dustin own voice sounded shattered, his heart hammering so hard against his ribs that it hurt. “Because your father’s in the hall? We’ll find another time, another place—”
“No!” Nicole cut him off, shaking her head wildly. “It’s not because of my father.” Turning away, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to still her body’s shaking. “It’s because of this.” She indicated her fierce reaction. “You want to know why I’m afraid? This is why, Dustin. I’m out of my league, a novice.”
“A novice who’s made a mockery of every kiss I’ve ever experienced,” he answered quietly. “One who makes me feel things I never imagined feeling.”
“Don’t say that.” She bowed her head, her hair veiling her expression like a black satin curtain. “This can’t happen. We can’t allow it to happen.”
“We can’t stop it from happening.” He came up behind her, moving her disheveled tresses aside to kiss her nape. “Nor do I want to.”
“Dustin, please. Think of who you are. Who I am.”
“Who am I, Nicole?” He nuzzled the side of her neck.
She broke away, pivoting about to face him. “A nobleman. My employer.” Her lips trembled. “A man who’s taken more women than he has races.”
“Damn Lanston!” Dustin erupted, teeth clenched against the impotent rage escalating inside him. He didn’t dare shout. The last thing he needed was for Nick Aldridge to come running to Nicole’s rescue. “Damn Lanston,” he growled again. “And damn his insipid gossip.”
“Is it untrue? Exaggerated?”
“Does it matter?” Dustin caught her shoulders. “Nicole, feel me. I’m shaking as much as you are. What difference does it make who I am, how I’ve lived?”
“Because it does,” she answered, wearing that same wistful expression she’d worn the night they’d met, gazing into the starlit skies, tears of emotion glistening on her lashes. “Because I’m an idealistic child who believes in love and fidelity and commitment. Because you live a life that defies every one of those values. Because I refuse to become your next publicly acclaimed paramour or even your discreetly kept one. And, based on all the reasons I’ve just spouted, because unless we stop this attraction before it’s too late, I’ll be forced to leave my job and Tyreham—which, as you know, could be disastrous for Papa.”
Dustin’s thumbs caressed her collarbone, soothing her with gentle, sweeping motions. “I understand your fears. This is all happening very fast. But sweetheart, you’ve got to trust me. Not only here …” He brushed his knuckles across her forehead. “But here.” His fingertips grazed that part of her shirt that covered her heart. “Give me a chance. Give us a chance.”
“There can be no ‘us,’” she said in a small, shaken voice. “There can only be Lord Tyreham and Alden Stoddard.”
“Is that really what you want?”
Silence.
“Honesty, Nicole. You’re the one teaching it to me.”
Tears wet her lashes. “No, it’s not what I want, God help me. But, under the circumstances, it’s what I must do not only for Papa’s sake but for mine. I haven’t a choice.”
“Yes, you have.” Purposefully, Dustin reached into his pocket, withdrew his handkerchief, and tenderly wiped away her tears. “Derby, you do have a choice. Give me the trust I’m requesting. Let me prove to you that I’m not the incurable hedonist you’ve proclaimed me to be.” He framed her face between his palms. “Can you honestly tell me you don’t come alive when we’re together? Not only when we touch but when we talk? When we laugh? Even when we argue?”
She shook her head. “You know I can’t tell you that. I’d be lying.” Pride interceded, and her small jaw set. “However, in your case, I’m sure you’ve enjoyed such sensations countless times in the past.”
“Never.” His lips feathered across her cheekbones. “Not in two and thirty years. Not with anyone but you.”
Her eyes searched his. “I’m terrified,” she whispered.
“I’m not. I’m certain. As certain as I am that the sun will set tonight and rise tomorrow. Trust me, Nicole. If I’m wrong, then once I’ve resolved this mystery and your father is safe, I promise to let you walk away. Intact,” he added pointedly. “But if I’m right …” He smiled, sifting strands of her hair through his fingertips. “Ah, Derby, if I’m right, then perhaps we can right life’s wrongs and balance its inequities together.”
A soft light illuminated her face. “You remembered.”
“Our first conversation? Every word. Every dream in your eyes. Every hope in your smile.” He held her gaze. “Give me a chance.”
A long pause … followed by a tiny nod. “I’ll try.”
Lord, had he ever known such bone-melting relief? “Good. Start by telling me you’ll see me again.”
Another nod, this one more decisive than the last. “Unless Papa… ”
“He won’t refuse you. He loves you too much.”
“He would if he believed you’d hurt me.”
