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That incited another worry. Dustin had declared he wanted more from her than seduction. Did that mean he planned to await her invitation for lovemaking, just as he had her request for a kiss? Or did it mean he intended to keep himself to chaste kisses and caresses, rather than ask for more? The latter was doubtful. But even if such were the case, did he honestly believe that by sparing her virtue, he’d leave her unscathed when they parted? If so, he was wrong. For even if her body remained intact, her soul would not.
“Nicole.” It was her father’s no-nonsense tone, one that jerked her back to the present and reminded her of the conversation at hand. “I take it by your silence that you’re not ready to discuss Lord Tyreham. Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but I am. In case you’ve forgotten, the man left here yesterday with my permission to continue calling on you. And, given that I’m your father—and that every one of my paternal instincts is berating me for my decision—I want your assurance that it was the right one.”
“I’m sorry, Papa.” Nicole sighed, covering her father’s hand with hers. “I never intended to exclude you from my thoughts. I just needed a few hours to sort them out. This is all very new to me.” She squeezed his fingers. “First, thank you for granting Dustin permission to continue his visits. I prayed you’d give your approval.”
“So I noticed,” Nick said gruffly. “Why do you think I relented? And I do mean relented. I’d hardly term it approval.” He massaged his temples. “Lord knows, I’m having second—and third—thoughts. I don’t know what possessed me to give in so easily. Just because you looked at me with those pleading eyes of yours shouldn’t have been enough to make me welcome Tyreham with open arms.”
“No, it shouldn’t have.” Nicole’s lips curved. “Nor was it. Admit it, Papa. You like him.”
“You’re damned right, I like him. He wouldn’t have set foot in here the first time if I didn’t—job or no job. Not only do I like him but, for whatever it’s worth, I believe he’s sincere.” A speculative pause. “Apparently, so do you.”
She could actually feel her heartbeat accelerate. “Yes, Papa, I do—like him and believe he’s sincere. I can’t explain why, but I’ve trusted Dustin from the instant we met. What’s more, I can’t seem to stop thinking about him nor longing to be in his company.” Her lashes lowered. “I, better than anyone, realize that for any one of a hundred reasons, it would be better for all of us if I severed this before it began. The fact is, I can’t seem to do it.”
“Maybe that’s because it’s already begun.”
Nicole’s startled gaze met her father’s.
“Nickie.” Nick’s expression was sober, his voice rough as gravel. “There’s another reason I’m sticking to my decision about Tyreham’s visits, other than your obvious feelings and my respect for the man. A reason that didn’t come to me till dawn. All night I lay awake, alternately reminding myself how decent and honest he’s been, then remembering his bloody reputation and deciding to change my mind and turn him away. By sunrise, I found myself at a loss, staring off into space and wishing your mother were alive. That’s when it came to me.” Nick drew a slow, unsteady breath. “If Alicia were here, I know exactly what she’d say. She’d say I had no business coming between you and what could be the future fate has in store for you. Fate, she’d remind me, was wiser than logic and passion combined, more profound than logic, more objective than passion.”
“I remember,” Nicole replied softly. “Wishes and fate. Mama trusted in both.”
A spark of memory lit Nick’s eyes. “Wishes and fate. That’s what she said the day I proposed to her. I knew bloody well I hadn’t the right to make her mine; her being a well-bred young lady and my being a jockey with scarcely a shilling to my name. But Alicia never hesitated. She said we were meant to be, that she’d wished us to be. She left a respectable family to marry a man with nothing to offer but his love and his dreams.”
“You realized those dreams, Papa,” Nicole defended at once. “You became the most renowned jockey in England. And in the interim, it was that love that sustained us.”
“I know, Elf.” Nick patted her hand tenderly. “All the more reason that if Tyreham really is the right man for you, I’d be a bloody hypocrite to deny you the same chance at happiness your mother and I had. Two different people from different worlds who loved each other enough to get by. Oh, don’t get me wrong—it was hard as hell sometimes. I was used to taking care of myself, coming and going as I pleased with no one home worrying about me. Alicia was used to staying put, going to church on Sundays, and eating a family dinner at seven o’clock each night. We each gave a little, took a little, and somehow it all worked out. In your case, the adjustment would be even harder. Tyreham’s a marquis, for God’s sake. A marquis with a lot of money and a lot of women.” Shaking his head, Nick muttered, “
Half of me wants to call him out now and shoot him before it’s too late. But for your sake, for your mother and the magic she brought to my life, I’ll wait, let you follow your heart, and pray—should it lead to Tyreham—that he doesn’t break it. Because if he does, so help me, if he hurts you in any way, he’ll answer to me, title or no title.”
“Thank you, Papa.” Moved beyond words, Nicole hugged her father fiercely. “You’re a wonderful man. Mama made a superb choice—the only choice.”
Nick swallowed. “We were blessed, your mother and I. But as I said, it wasn’t easy. It took strength and patience and grit—all of which you have and which I prayed you’d never need.” He gripped Nicole’s arms, held her away from him. “Are you scared, Elf?”
“Terrified.”
“Good. You should be.” He tugged lightly at the rim of her cap. “Be careful, Nickie. You’ve got my spunk, but your mother’s heart. Guard it well—it’s the only one you’ve got.” With an awkward cough, he came to his feet. “Now go exercise that stallion of yours. Have you got him cantering yet?”
“As of this morning, yes.” Taking her father’s cue, Nicole jumped up, perceiving his tacit need to change the subject. “Dagger moves with such grace, it’s more like sailing than riding. I plan to take a few low fences this afternoon, just to reinforce our timing and technique. If all goes well, I’ll accelerate the pace tomorrow and gallop the length of the course. Brackley can time us.” A triumphant grin. “Dustin will return from Suffolk, and his new trainer will arrive to find Dagger and me ready for Epsom—a full week earlier than expected.”
Rather than sharing her excitement, Nick scowled, his eyes darting restlessly about the room. “I hope Tyreham will have learned enough to end this farce and get me back on the turf where I belong.”
Nicole’s elation faded. “Papa, I know you’re fidgety …” she began.
“Fidgety? I’m losing my bloody mind. That list I gave your marquis, together with whoever else Sully adds to it, had better yield some results.”
“It will,” Nicole assured him. “If there are answers, Dustin will find them.”
Dustin was hoping much the same thing.
Leaning forward, he glanced out the carriage window, taking in the rolling countryside of Suffolkshire.
He’d arrived at his destination.
For the umpteenth time, he unfolded the list Aldridge had given him, wondering where this investigation would lead. With any luck, to the truth. Then Aldridge would be free and Nicole would be his.
He grinned at his own arrogance. Oh, it wouldn’t be easy. Nicole was as stubborn as she was beautiful. But eventually, if he had to move heaven and earth, he would make it happen.
Tenderly, Dustin recalled yesterday’s kiss, the dazed wonder in Nicole’s eyes and the all-too-transparent emotion on her face as she’d granted him the permission he sought. God, how he wanted to make that look last forever.
