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“Where is dinner? I’m starving!” Sam says patting his stomach. Gracie does the same, and he picks her up with a laugh.
“Ready in a minute, dad. Why don’t you get Gracie in her chair and we’ll be along behind you in a second?” Anna says, never taking her eyes off of me. They all leave, oblivious, and Anna crosses her arms over her chest.
“No way you’re getting off that easy. Spill, Parrish.”
I awkwardly take a few steps back, and toward the dining room. “There is nothing to tell, Anna. I just…”
And then, the front door opens, and Hawk comes sliding in, looking ruffled, but not remotely as guilty as I do. Anna throws her hands in the air.
“What is this? Grand Central Station?”
Hawk looks back and forth between us, but never betrays anything. I hate him for his ability to play it cool. I am lacking that gene. Hawk just shakes his head and shrugs, then reaches out and scruffs Anna’s curly red hair.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sis. I just got here. Is dinner ready?”
“I’m not a chuck wagon! Go sit down with your parents. They’re waiting in the dining room. Maybe you can introduce yourself to your niece for the first time ever?” Her words are pointed, and Hawk doesn’t push. He just nods, turns on his heel, and heads for the dining room, leaving Anna and I alone again in the hallway. She looks around, her eyes wide, as if she’s scanning for something.
“Has everyone who lives here at this current moment come through here? Is there anyone else left who could walk through the door?”
I shrug. “I mean, there were some stable hands still milling around before I came back over here. I could invite them for dinner if you’d like.”
“Don’t be a smart ass, Parrish. I know something is going on and you’re going to tell me.”
Suddenly, I just have zero interest in talking about it. Less than zero. I want to see my daughter, and eat something because I’m starving, then take Gracie, go back to the carriage house, and watch TV until I fall asleep. I want to pretend what happened in my office never happened. Hawk can stay here for a month, and work, and I can do my best to ignore him entirely. Because I refuse to end up back where I started, back where I was when I was a teenager with a broken heart and no idea how I was going to survive it. I’m not going to let that happen again, not when I have so much to lose this time. So, I take a deep breath, and I smile at Anna.
“Nothing happened. I’m fine. Let’s get dinner, huh? I’ll help you serve.”
Anna opens and closes her mouth a few times like a fish gasping for air, then wags a finger at me, accusatorially. “I don’t believe you, Parrish Elizabeth McCormick. I don’t believe you at all.”
I shrug again. “That’s your business, Anna.” And I leave her standing in the hallway as I make my way to a kitchen, practically hyperventilating once I am out of her earshot. All I want to do is lock myself in a closet and have a panic attack, just kick and scream until I feel better. But there is no way I can get away with that, so I start picking up bowls of sweet potatoes and green beans and head for the dining room. I try my damnedest not to look at Hawk, who is sitting next to his dad and chatting about the stables, but he looks at me out of the corner of his eyes, and I almost drop the bowl of beans.
Candy reaches out at the last second and catches it before it can clatter to the table.
“Goodness gracious, Parrish! You are jittery tonight,” she says as she starts spooning out the green beans like nothing happened. Anna comes in with the steaks and sets them down with a thud.
“She is jittery, mama. And she won’t tell me why.”
Hawk doesn’t even flinch. He reaches over and serves himself a giant steak, then starts giving them to everyone else. “Does Gracie eat steak? I don’t know what kids eat.” He plops a giant cut of steak down on her princess plate, and she laughs like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever seen in her life. I roll my eyes and sit down next to her, then pull the plate in front of me, and cut it in thirds, then start cutting that third into tiny pieces.
“She’s not a caveman, Hawk. She barely has teeth. You need to cut things up for her. It’s like you’ve never seen a child before.”
He nods thoughtfully. “I’ll remember that when we have ribs. What about your, Parrish? Do I need to cut up your steak into bite-sized pieces, or do you just unhinge your jaw and swallow it whole?”
Anna’s jaw drops, and Candy’s eyes go wide. I set my knife and fork down and turn to him, all thoughts of what happened between us in my office out the window, replaced by white-hot rage. “Now, you listen here, you overgrown, arrogant, sack of…”
“Children!” Sam shouts, raising his hands. “I won’t have any fighting at my dinner table. And I won’t put up with this level of animosity for the rest of Hawk’s visit. Whatever is going on between you to, I want you to shake hands and make up. You’re going to give me indigestion at this rate.”
I go back to cutting Gracie’s meat, the slide it over to her, not making a single move to shake anything of Hawk’s. He doesn’t approach me either.
“I’m sorry, Parrish. It was rude of me to imply that you’re a soul-sucking monster who eats her prey alive.”
I smirk, and click my tongue. “And I never should have implied that you are twelve feet of pain in the ass stuffed into a six foot sack, Hawk.”
Anna snort laughs, and I see Candy shake her head out of the corner of my eye.
“Do I need to send you two to separate corners to have some thinking time, like I did with the boys when they were little?”
I start eating my own dinner, and take a sip of the iced tea sitting in front of me, suddenly wishing it were spiked. “Not at all, Candy. We’re going to be just fine, aren’t we Hawk?” I still don’t look up at him, but I can feel his eyes on me.
