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“Yeah,” Jake says hastily. “I can take you back. You’ve got a lot going on.”
“I do,” I say.
There’s a pause, and I know we both want to fill it with another kiss. Jake straightens, taking a step away from the railing. “I’m sorry about that, I just — ”
“It’s okay,” I assure him. “Really it was… it’s been a long time for me. Good to be reminded it all still works.”
He chuckles, but he’s disappointed. Nothing I can do about that, though, other than hope that it doesn’t mean he won’t want to meet again. Do I really want to, though?
As we walk back to the restaurant and get into his car I realize that yes, yes I really do.
Fuck.
Back at the lounge, Lacey catches me when I arrive. “Where have you been? The samples are at the chef’s table.”
“Samples?”
She stares at me, aghast. “Yeah, the samples. The hot sauces, Janie, remember?”
Right. God, I’m a mess right now. Janie Hall, you need to get your priorities in order. “Right, of course. Sorry I’m late. Where’s Chester?”
“Back there already, come on.” Lacey tugs me toward the back of house. After weaving through a few patrons — dinner looks like it might actually pick up a bit tonight — and shaking a few hands she takes me to the chef’s table in the kitchen, where there are fifteen carafes with samples of hot sauces made from chilies we sourced from every corner of the globe. Even at a distance a few of them hit my nose.
Gloria wanders over from prep just as Chester is sitting down across from me, and begins to pull up a chair.
“Go man the bar, please,” I tell her.
She looks at me like I might have made a joke. When no one laughs, she sighs, and leaves the chair where it is to hop to it.
Chester at least waits until she’s gone to say anything. “She has been a nightmare all day. She won’t fucking shut up about you and Jake Ferry. Which, by the way, can I just say I can’t believe you went out with him?”
“Neither can I,” I mutter. As if Chester could say no, if Jake was of another persuasion. “All right… Chef Lacey, dazzle me. I desperately need it.”
Chapter 44
Janie
“And this one sauce Lacey made from Chimayo peppers she got from a guy in New Mexico that’s managed to cultivate a consistent flavor that’s just… amazing,” I’m telling Mama in her hospital room. She looks excited, and it’s good to see her smiling. “Another one that I really like is the puya base — it’s sort of sweet. I think we narrowed it down to about six really fantastic, high-quality hot sauces, and Lacey and I already have dozens of ideas about how to use them. We’re going to roll out a different sauce each week for six weeks, make it a sort of event. I think this is going to put us on the map, Mama.”
She smiles at me, but there’s a sad edge to it. There’s nervousness in her eyes. “Sounds like you’re going to be a busy bee,” she says.
“Mama… I’ll still come see you,” I tell her. “Come on, have I ever been too busy for you?”
A sigh, and then she pats my hand where it’s resting on hers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Just… it’s good that things are going so well for you, Janie. I’m proud of you.”
“I know you are, Mama,” I tell her. “Thank you. Have you… seen George or the boys lately?”
Mama shrugs her shoulders and waves a hand dismissively, but she won’t look at me as she does. “They’ve all got a lot going on, you know. I’m okay here. The nurses are very nice. And I think they’re sending me home soon.” She doesn’t sound excited about it. I wish she were.
“Well listen, I’ve got to go for now, but I’ll come by later, okay?”
“Okay, love,” she says, resigned. I wish I could just stay with her, keep her company, but there’s nothing to be done about it. I’ve got a business to run.
So I kiss her on the forehead and make my way out of the hospital. I break several speed limits on the way back to the lounge, and pray that I don’t get stopped. If I hadn’t spent part of the morning indulging in fantasies about Jake, I would have gotten to the market on time with Lacey and subsequently been able to spend real quality time with Mama without feeling rushed. But I make it to the lounge with a few minutes to spare and close off the office to change for the evening.
It’s a big night. No one knows that we’re launching the new line of hot sauces yet, or that we have any events planned, but Chester and I both pulled every local string we have between us to get as many people in tonight as we could manage. Lacey has a number of dishes ready to go, just some amuse-bouches the wait staff will be carrying around the lounge with a painstakingly scripted delivery to reveal the upcoming Season of Heat.
From the moment I leave Mama, I’m distracted. All I can think about is Jake and that kiss. All night I’m certain that it shows on my face and I keep having to check myself, make sure that I’m not smiling too much, that I look appropriately professional and not like I’m on some kind of drug.
