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My heart stops. The whole world stops as Ian and I just look at each other for a long moment. He looks at me like he doesn’t believe what he’s seeing, but I’m just happy to see him. Serge was right. He doesn’t look like he’s been on a bender. He just looks like he had the same kind of rough night I did.
“Can I come in?”
He steps back from the door without a word and I step just beyond it, not going any further into the room.
Serge stands from the seating area. “I’ll give you two some space,” he says, squeezing past me to leave the room entirely. And now we’re all alone together and Ian is looking at me with those eyes that make me melt, with this hurt, broken, helpless expression that makes him look like an abused puppy. But I can’t let my heart get ahead of me.
“Your friend came to talk to me,” I say, folding my arms and indicating my head toward the door Serge just left through.
Ian sighs, rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
That’s some relief at least. I didn’t want to believe that he’d coerce his friend to come to me on his behalf, but I wouldn’t put it past someone in his position. But I can tell he means it and he’s actually kind of annoyed at the news, so I’m encouraged.
“It’s okay. He convinced me I should at least come talk to you. And I gave it some thought and he’s right. I owe you that much. You’ve never lied to me or led me on before, and I know I’m probably reacting more to things that happened with Eric than what actually happened with us, so…”
“Chelsea, I swear to you it wasn’t mine. I haven’t touched the stuff in five years and I don’t ever plan to again. I told you on that bench on the beach that if I fucked this up, it wouldn’t be because of drugs and I meant it.”
My throat tightens painfully and tears well up in my eyes. I probably shouldn’t, but I believe him. I really do.
“I don’t understand then…”
“Me neither,” he says quickly. “Serge thinks it might have been hotel staff, or a roadie, maybe? Someone just looking to stash something quick so they didn’t get caught.”
I frown, still hugging myself. “That seems too random. Too neat.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” He gives me a little smile, testing the waters, and I can’t hold the tears back anymore. They just spill over even though the worst of the storm has passed. Maybe it’s relief, maybe it’s that, and the worry, the fear, the uncertainty and confusion. Whatever it is, they’re all welling up inside me and the tears fall in fat drops onto my shirt.
Ian takes a step toward me, his hands reaching out for me, but he stops, and that makes me ache inside even more. I can’t help myself. I lean forward, pressing my forehead against his shoulder. His arms go around me slowly, like he’s worried he’ll scare me away or break me or something, but then he’s got me and he’s holding me tight, shushing me as he rubs his hand up and down my spine.
“Shh, it’s all right. I’m right here. I promise you. I’m not going anywhere. This is the Ian that’s here to stay.”
That’s enough for me to drop my arms and cling onto him. “Please,” I whisper.
He holds me even tighter and I feel his lips on the top of my head. “Always.”
After a while, I manage to pull myself together and we head to the couches facing each other.
“I think this was personal,” I finally say. “If someone planted that stuff in your bag, they wanted me to find it. They wanted to split us up. And with the tour and the timing… It can’t be random. I don’t buy it.”
For a moment, I think Ian’s going to tell me I’ve lost my mind, that I’m just jumping into conspiracy theories, but he doesn’t say anything at all and that’s almost weirder. He’s just looking at me with this kind of… surprise and I don’t know what it’s about.
“What?”
He shakes his head, forcing a smile. “I’m just really fucking happy you’re on my side again. I’m lost without you, Chelsea. Before everything that happened, I was going to tell you…” He shakes his head again, looking out the window behind him instead of at me.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“You’ll just think I’m saying it now to manipulate you or something. I don’t want to sully it with that.” I frown and lean forward, my elbows on my knees.
“Ian, please?”
He looks up at me, his dark
eyes locking to mine, staring into the deepest depths of my soul with that fiery intensity that I’ve come to love so much.
