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“Misunderstand each other,” he repeats. I hear the dry tone in his voice, and I almost expect him to roll his eyes but he doesn't.
“Exactly,” I answer, and I am starting to sound exasperated. I knew this was going to be hard, but why is he trying to make it more hard than it has to be?
“Well, go ahead and say it then.”
I see the large sign welcoming us to Maryland and get more nervous, realizing that I've only got a few minutes left. Of course, I can always just catch an Uber back from here if I had to. He could just leave me here. I'm sure I can figure it out.
“I took a picture,” I start, hoping that if I just start talking it will start coming out faster. “With Kirkman. Me and Bunny. And… I showed it to Lori.”
“Lori Coleman,” he says.
He doesn't say anything else for a few minutes, while panic continues to rise in my chest. As we take the ramp off the highway, I prepare myself for him to tell me to just get out of the car and start walking back home.
“Do you think I didn't know this?” he finally asks me.
We pull in toward the valet and he looks around, assessing the situation in the valet area. I see a man in a suit coming toward the car, speaking up his sleeve like one of those Secret Service guys.
“Wait… you knew?” I ask, confused. “How did you —”
“It's my job to know, Dahlia,” he sighs. “Of course I know.”
My mind reels. Did he just find out? Did he know, all along? Why isn’t he angry?
He pulls the emergency brake on the car and turns toward me in his seat, taking my hands in his. He looks at me intently, his eyes serious and steely.
“Dahlia, I need you to understand something,” he begins. “Do I have your full attention?”
“Yes,” I choke out, nodding earnestly.
His hands encircle my wrists, caging me. He's not holding me tightly, but I know I couldn't escape even if I wanted to.
“I've been alone for a long time,” he begins. “By choice, yes, but alone. I'm accustomed to being alone. In fact, my solitude has caused me… trouble in the past. Do you understand?”
“I — I understand.”
“Good,” he says. “Because I need you to understand that I'm here with you now. I'm with you. By choice. It's a risk, and not just for me. For both of us.”
I nod, understanding that what he's saying is absolutely true.
“So what I'm saying is… I appreciate you telling me, Dahlia. I truly do. I understand that you’re taking a risk by being so honest with me, and I'm going to take risks to be with you too. All right?”
“All right,” I breathe. I'm not sure I really understand what he's saying, but I sense how important it is to him.
“Because it's easy to get caught up in a fantasy,” he continues. “But it's important to me that we are completely real with each other, all right? I think that that's the key. That's the important thing: being real with each other.”
“Being honest,” I offer.
He pulls me forward, kissing me gently on the forehead, his lips lingering against my skin. I feel his breath pushing my hair back gently.
“Exactly,” he agrees. “All right. Let's get going.”
Chapter 41
August
Kirkman arrives at the MGM via an ostentatious tour bus, which is not at all what I asked him to do. Dan Smith, a buddy of mine from the service, meets me in front of the tour bus as it pulls up. He's dressed like Secret Service in a dark blue suit, his head shaved bald, the clear curling cord trailing from his ear into his collar.
Dan enjoys making an obvious show of being security. He says it keeps away a certain group of people. Personally, I like to blend in a little more. It creates a kind of complacency among the people I'm trying to target. But suffice it to say, Dan and I make a pretty good team, approaching security from different angles.
