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Whoever she is, I'm more than ready to play her game.
I was thinking about reaching out to you. How afraid I am to reach out…
My eyebrows go up. Not exactly the angle I thought this is going to take.
Reaching out to me? How do you mean?
I lean back against the doorframe, pressing the wooden ridges hard between my shoulder blades, trying to relieve the tension there. Eagerly I watch the screen, curious what's going to happen next.
Like with my fingers, she responds.
Perhaps she's referring to something that she and Kirkman did together? These comments seem completely out of context for me, so they might make sense to him. But they’re also generic enough that she could be making it up wholesale.
I definitely should investigate further, just to try to get more information. Only for that purpose.
Tell me more about that, I say.
…
…
I think you know what I mean, she finally responds.
But I need more. I need to figure out a way to get her to tell me more details about what is she's referring to. I need to at least narrow down the field of who I’m dealing with here.
You know that I like to hear the words. Tell me.
You're such a demanding man!
You have no idea, I agree.
Suddenly, I feel like I need to stop. Am I still solidly within the role of Kirkman? Am I merely drawing information from her to do my job well? Or am I showing my cards before I need to?
My heart rate is elevated. I'm a little too eager. I sound a little bit too much like myself.
I should stop now. I should get one of my buddies to put a trace on this picture, look for watermarks or some other detail, maybe even find her IP address. I probably shouldn't be going into this by myself, not even knowing who it is.
But I really want to find out, she says.
Then you have to tell me, I respond, before I even have a chance to talk myself out of it.
I’ll tell you a little bit now… and I'll tell you a little bit later… she teases. Can't have it all at once. Lol.
I don’t like to wait, I reply
. Why not just show me everything?
No. A little now. More later. Deal? she replies.
I have to consider this for a moment. What is she trying to do? Lure me in? Then again, it could just be innocent flirting from Trina. Maybe this is her attempt at reconciliation?
Since we broke up, I admit I’ve had some time to think. She brought up some good points about my solitude, my rigidity. She said she felt like she couldn’t reach me, that I was single-focused, and the focus was not ever on her.
She was right, I’m sure. Then again, I don’t think we were really a good match. I was never wholly attracted to her, never found her irresistible. And I still have the remainders of feelings about my deceased wife to sort through, or so they told me in group therapy.
Ugh. I’m overthinking this.
All right, I text back. I agree to your terms.
