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“Was,” I manage to say while lifting her hips, and enveloping him completely inside. After a brief pause, Jayson begins to move inside me, softly at first, staring in my eyes. When I get used to the feeling of him inside me, and the pain disappears, it’s replaced by curiosity, then by deep pleasure. He reaches down to stroke my clit as he thrusts, kissing me softly. I match his rhythm and we ride our way to orgasm, and the cries he makes when he comes push me over the edge, until I’m falling, falling into stars.
What could have been minutes or hours later, Jayson rolls to my side, wrapping me in his arms. To my complete embarrassment, tears stream from my eyes. Jayson sits up abruptly. “Are you hurt? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry, Harper.”
I shake my head. “It’s not that,” I answer in a small voice. A cough clears my throat, and my voice returns to normal when I finally say, “It was wonderful. Amazing. I guess I was just thinking about how this is just a brief interlude. When our marriage ends…” I shrug a shoulder. “I guess I’m just overwhelmed.” That isn’t exactly the truth, but I’m not about to make this mistake
even worse by admitting I’m in love with him and have already started mourning losing him, even before we split.
He lays his head on my upper arm. “It doesn’t have to.”
I crane my neck to see his face. “What doesn’t?”
“Our marriage doesn’t have to end.” He trails a finger across my stomach, making me tremble. Jayson changes positions to straddle me. “Let’s forget the agreement we had and make a new one.”
Eyes wide, I stare up at him. “We agreed to three years.”
Jayson shrugs. “Is there some reason why we shouldn’t at least try to have a real marriage?”
I flounder, not even certain how I feel. It’s tempting to agree, but if we did so, I’d fall even deeper in love with Jayson. If he decides it’s not what he wants, could I stand to be devastated even more? “Why do you want to change things, Jayson?”
“We’re good together. We like and respect each other.” He runs his fingertips softly down my body. “I think we’re sexually compatible.”
I frown. “What about more? Don’t you want to marry someone you love?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. We have the foundation laid for a strong marriage. Maybe we’ll even love each other in time.”
I try to reject the thrill of hope his words bring me. It’s one reckless afternoon. One more time wouldn’t make a difference. “Perhaps. I’m willing to renegotiate our deal. Do you want to add six months?”
“I don’t think we need to impose a deadline, agape mou.” Let’s just see how things progress.” Jayson slides slowly down my body, placing kisses as he goes — across my neck, breasts and stomach, progressing lower. When he reaches his destination, I become incapable of any further discussion or thought.
The next several weeks pass in a happy haze. Jayson and I spend most of the days and all of our nights together. Not only are we learning about each other’s bodies,we’re connecting on a deeper level. I’m no longer afraid of how much I’ve started to love him. I’m terrified. If he changes his mind, I don’t know how I would survive walking away.
The only problem is, that fear still can’t keep me from loving him. I watch him with Sophie, patiently listening to her instructions on where to move the furniture to clear the room for her birthday party that night. It’s a task any of the servants could have done, but Jayson volunteered.
I’ve dreaded this day coming for a long time. With Sophie turning eighteen, I’m no longer needed. There’s no reason I have to be here. I haven’t been sure what I would do with myself, beyond finishing the botany degree. Now, I find myself daring to tentatively envision a future with Jayson.
He looks up from sliding a wingchair out of the way and catches me staring at him. Jayson winks before resuming his task.
Which brings me back to my own work: arranging flowers in the vases around the room. I’m nearly finished when Jayson comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my body to draw me against him. He’s hard and ready for me, as he always seems to be, but there’s no time to indulge in anything romantic at the moment.
I let out a giggle when he nuzzles my neck. “Stop it. I have to finish this.”
“It looks fine to me,” he says, running his hand over my breast. “Perfect.”
“Sophie...”
“Is busy,” he says against my skin. “She’s with Irina, going over the menu. Again.” He laughs.
“You don’t turn eighteen every day.” I allow him to turn me around, so I’m facing him. I out down the bunch of hyacinths I was holding to put my arms on his shoulders. “What were you like then? I didn’t really know you.” I’d only been ten and had just started noticing boys. Even then, I found Jayson gorgeous, but he seemed much too old.
“I don’t even remember being eighteen.” He rests his forehead against mine. “I remember never being able to live up to my father’s expectations.” A sad smile drifts across his lips. “He told me multiple times he was thankful for Dmitri, because I would never be fit to run the Satyros Corporation.”
I stroke his neck. “That must have been difficult.”
Jayson shrugs. “It’s the way of many fathers.” His lips firm. “It will not be my way though.”
“You want children?”
He quirks a brow. “Of course.”
